Right foot, Right foot, Left foot, Right...

When I was younger I really enjoyed reading Dr. Suess books, they were just challenging enough to make me feel smart and they were always pretty comical.  Not gonna lie I still like reading Dr. Suess books.  I mean who doesn't enjoy some made up words, characters like the Cat in the Hat and the Whos?  Two of my favorites are "The Places You'll Go" (which my sister in law got me when I graduated High School) and the "Foot Book" because I still as an adult cannot tell my right from my left at times (true story).  The foot book involves taking lots of steps as does the places you'll go.  There's some mystery in both as to where the steps will lead... which seems to be so fitting for my life right now.

I've stepped up my reading game a bit and now I read adult people books... weird to think I actually read as sort of a hobby now but hey, "leaders are learners", or so that's what they tell me.  I picked up a book that I've probably owned for about 2 years, it had been sitting on my shelf for a while unread.  Oddly enough I know the guy who wrote the book and he's said a bunch of times that he prays that the people who read his books will read them at the "right time" in their lives.  My current read is Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson.  He's written a few really great books and he's a pretty amazing speaker too but DO NOT read this book unless you are prepared to be MESSED UP (in a good way).  I've been slow reading Wild Goose Chase because I want to digest everything it has to say.  My world has been flipped upside down in the last month or so and this read has been so timely.

This past Saturday I read a portion of Wild Goose Chase that talked about Moses and his staff.  His staff was part of his identity, part of his security, it sort of help define who he was.  Batterson at one point in the chapter asks a series of questions..."Has God ever called you to throw something down?  Something in which you find your security or put your identity?  It's awfully hard to let go, isn't it?  It feels like you are jeopardizing your future.  And it feels like you could loose what is most important to you.  But that is when you discover who you really are."  My heart began to beat just a little bit faster and I instantly put the book down and started to journal.  (Big surprise there I'm sure... I like to write things down and look back on them.)  Batterson wraps up the chapter with this statement... "Throw down your staff, come out of the cage, and discover the adventure on the far side of routine."

The very next day I was in church and the time had come... it was time for a Moses moment in my life.  So I took off my shoes (and put some socks on... the AC makes my feet cold), and prepared to throw down my "staff."  I followed my routine of getting things all set up in KidCity and began to get ready to teach.  I was given instructions on how the day would go, I started my morning with the kiddos like any other Sunday and then I handed them off to our youth pastor and joined the front row in "big church."  As I sat fighting back tears my pastor talked me up a bit (thanks for that... so much love and respect for that guy) and then he called me up to the platform.  In my socks and KidCity get up (jeans and a KC tshirt) holding in as much emotion as I could I stepped down as our church's children's pastor.  I threw down my staff and now I am trusting God to take that staff and make it a rod that He can and will use.

Right foot, Right foot, Left foot, Right.... I'm taking the next step on this Wild Goose Chase and trusting that God is leading me in the Places I'll Go!

Adventures of the WHOKNEW tribe...

Yesterday I agreed to help keep an eye on 2 of my most favorite kids in the whole wide world.... Malachi and Abby Bishop.  First up... work, Malachi did school work, Abby made some cards, and I did work work.  Then we explored the basement of our church trying to help our worship leader find something.  WHOKNEW exploring the basement for something that wasn't even there could actually be fun?  Malachi thinks we should turn the basement into a cafeteria.  Where does he come up with this stuff, it's possible that the though came about because he was hungry, because shortly after he was ready for lunch.  Chinese Food was on the menu today... WHOKNEW kids like chinese that much... they were pumped!  Abby's excitement may have been increased because she was going to be eating her lunch off of a PINK plate.  Then as I did a little more work the kiddos did a little more kiddo stuff... ipads, iphones, self recorded videos.... WHOKNEW a 3yr old and an 8yr old were so smart.  The sun was shining and the natives were getting a little restless so we made the choice to take a walk... WHOKNEW the sheer mention of a walk would spark such excitement.  We spotted this little place around the corner called sweet shop, figured there had to be something worth while in there... yupp there was... Ice Cream... I knew that would go over big, but WHOKNEW they would want to walk with their ice cream so we could continue on our grand adventure.  The kiddos lead the charge picking the directions we would walk in.  We walked past a puppet theater (3 times) and then we discovered a building.  It appeared to be a rathe old looking place and we decided to be a little daring a walk up to it to discover what it really was.  As we got closer we learned that it was a museum.  We went inside and the man allowed us to come in for free... WHOKNEW our walk would land us at a museum.  As we walked through the museum we learned about fossils, rocks, an old jail, an old school house and an old court house... WHOKNEW we'd find a random gem (literally) in the middle of Hicksville.

The WHOKNEW tribe took a random walk in a familiar place and we found a building that I've personally probably wandered past a billion times before in my life but never took the time to notice it.  The WHOKNEW tribe discovered a place right in the middle of a town that was so rich in history, from thousands of year ago and some history that was a little more recent like hundreds of year ago.  The WHOKNEW tribe taught me a few valuable lessons today...
1- You never fully know what you are surrounded by unless you take the time to notice.
2- There can be hidden gems right around you, you just have to be willing to look.
3- Adventures through a child's eyes are always worth taking.
4- Sometimes one moment, one hour, one day can trigger memories that will remind you of a lifetime ago.
5- Three year olds get a little scared of things that are unfamiliar, dark or different and people older/ more experienced need to help us/ them through those situations.
6- Ice Cream melts and asking for a cup with the cone is a wise choice.
7- Making memories with people you love is always worth the time it might take out of a busy day!

Today's adventures with the WHOKNEW tribe were amazing... and I'm looking forward to more WHOKNEW tribe adventures in life!

A NOT so TYPICAL Tuesday...

Today started off pretty regular, woke up.. not too excited to be awake, had a little QT, got showered and ready for the day and headed to the office.  (tried out my new JORDAN starbucks cup from my bff)  Sat down at my desk like any other typical Tuesday and began to write my weekly to do list.  I kind of live and die by my to do list.  I feel rather accomplished when I check things off my list.  So today's list like most Tuesdays was... write to do list, staff prayer, staff meeting, and like 5-6 other tasks (some random just to make the boss laugh, but mostly all things that "need to" get done).  So I wrote my list, printed it (so I could have the satisfaction of checking off things when they are done), sent it to my boss, and began to get things done.  Although I am HIGHLY task oriented I am also aware that there are other things like people and experiences that are more important (sorry little disclaimer action needed there).

So my boss/ pastor has us meet in a room for staff prayer (that was a little less than business as usual... inspiring and encouraging).  Then he tells us that we are going OUT of the building for our staff meeting, once we started driving I quickly figured out where we were going.  We went to a museum here on Long Island called the Cradle of Aviation.  As a closet geek I was internally PUMPED... I love museums and zoos and places like that.  As we walked around I was filled with all these different emotions and thoughts.  And as "super christian" as it sounds I began to pray, God show me something that I can apply to my life, help me to see something you want me to see.  So we walked around and I geekishly took tons of pictures on my phone and wrote notes down on my notepad on my phone.

When we first started walking around the building I was really impressed with the information a gentlemen was sharing with us about this air plane from Israel.  The plan had 4 members in the cockpit, a pilot, a co-pilot, the flight navigator and the flight engineer.  My first thought was, wow what a team... and then I focused on the word TEAM.  It wasn't a one man show, it was a team effort, and each person played a part.  I began to think about how important it was for people to have other around them that they walk through life with.  People who accompany them on the journey and share the work load.  Thank GOD for team!  The gentleman who was sharing information with us also talked to us about a piece of equipment called the sexton.  The sexton is the way they navigated before GPS, they used the sun and the stars to determine where they were going.  Amazing how even way back God had already put into place the things we needed to be able to accomplish tasks way bigger then ourselves.  Flying a plane to a destination without a GPS... wow... and a team... guess what... EL AL (the Israel airline) had the SAFEST safety record... maybe because they had a team?!?!?

But then we crossed into this part of the museum where you learn about the progression of aeronautics.   As I walked around I was awed by the things that I was seeing and learning/relearning.  But then there was this woman, and at first I think I was just impressed because of her gender, but then as I learned more about her story I was blown away.  Harriet Quimby was born to a poor farm family in the midwest, when she grew up she became a writer and then she began to explore aviation.  Quimby was the first female to fly over the English channel.  Unfortunately for her she made that flight the day after the Titanic sank, so she got little to no publicity for it.  She was also Amelia Eirheart's idol, that's who Amelia wanted to be like.  Oddly enough I wanted to be Amelia when I was a kid.  I thought she was so cool because she was doing things that "only men" should have been doing.  I always thought she was so cool.  One of Quimby's first flights was less then 1/2 mile from the house I grew up in as a kid.  So crazy to think that someone who had such an impact on aeronautics had that impact so close to the place I grew up.  (That could be a whole different blog at some point).  The take away I got from Quimby's experiences were these... 1- Dare to Dream, 2- Don't worry about who is going to recognize your accomplishments, 3- Don't give up on your dreams, and 4- Do what you love (if you can die doing it... added bonus).

A not so typical tuesday without a doubt in my little world.  I may not ALWAYS remember this day but I will forever remember the impact of changing things up so that growth, vision, passion, and inspiration are given a catalyst.  Thankful for a boss/pastor and friend who is willing to push me to grow in such subtle ways.  So much respect for him and so thankful for the influence he's been in my life.

Cinderella's Song....

Last night before I went to sleep I wrote down a very specific prayer in my journal.... "Lord  I know that your word is true and that you keep your promises, before I go to bed I am asking you, reveal your plans for my life.  Lord give me dreams tonight about the plans you have for my life.  Cause me when I wake up in the morning to know and remember what you've shown me."  


Before I fell asleep around 1 am I wanted to be sure that I asked God to use my resting time to just show me what He has in store for my life.  I know that might sound a little flaky to some people and impossible to others, but I just felt impressed to pray that before I went to bed last night (early this morning).  


Well at 4 am that prayer (along with some other prayers from the last week) was/were answered. I don't think I ever doubted that they would be answered I am just always simply amazed at how timely and how precisely God seems to answer prayers.  Even when the answer is NOT what I expect the answer always works out in my favor in the long run.  When I woke up I used the light from my cell phone and began to journal the things that were on my mind, the dream(s) I had felt like God reminded me of/ gave me... 12 pages later I stopped and just reflected in awe for a few minutes.  Then I opened my bible app on my phone and read a passage (2 Samuel 9) and was blown away at how the two tied so well together.  


I don't believe in coincidences, I do believe in GODincidences though.  The journaling and the bible reading sparked a little online research for things I NEVER thought I would be interested in and some things that I forgot I had some passion for.  And then I was reminded of my mini's favorite movie... Cinderella... what a story... forgotten, underestimated, low self esteem, and a whole lot more going against her but she was destined for greatness... (I can relate).  She never stopped dreaming though...  




"A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true" 





Thing is though... I don't think you have to simply have faith in your dreams... I believe you have to have faith in the dream giver.  It's been a long time since I have dreamed dreams like the one I just journaled about.  I know dreams don't come true without some kind of adversity but I also know that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and more importantly that I have the "dream giver" in my corner.  




So here's to #uglyearly updates!!!!!! 

Constant....

Over the last few days I have had some great talks with some "old friends."  People whom I have come to love, respect and admire.  A few of them were college friends of mine, some I met while I was away at school, and some I have had the honor of knowing for a really long time.  In each conversations there were some tears, some moments that made me smile, but ALWAYS constant words of encouragement.  Now I'm a little bit like a puppy dog for anyone who has known me for more then like 5 seconds you would know that's true.  I'm pretty much loyal to the core (unless you've hurt me real bad and then I tend to nip at you, but I'm pretty forgiving and usually get over it).  I like to just "hang out," you're going for a walk, ok cool I'll keep you company, you're having a random car dance party (only a few people have been blessed to be a part of that) I want to join in, you need someone to just keep you company I'm there, you need a listening ear you got it.  You say nice and encouraging things to me and I get pretty excited, makes me feel like you care and you appreciate me.  You ignore me and I kind of want to pee on your shoe, unless of course I was sleeping then I would prefer that you ignore me (sometimes I need a little space).  See I'm kind of like a puppy!  Puppies are pretty constant, you know you can depend on them to be your best friend when you need it.  I got a dog almost two years ago, she's great, lazy, loyal and listens real well.  Sometimes I talk out my problems with her, thing is though, she doesn't give really great advice.  The great thing about the people I have been so beyond blessed to speak with this week is, they all had great things to say, encouraging, uplifting, loving (they get that I am kind of like a puppy).  One friend encouraged me to read, to her I say, thank you for valuing my growth.  One friend encouraged me to take some time to just be me, to that friend I say thank you for seeing me and knowing that sometimes I just need a few minutes.  One friend encouraged me to embrace things that I love to do, to that friend I wanted to say thank you for reminding me that it's ok to not do everything but to focus on what I love.  But all of them encouraged me to do two things, PRAY and TRUST.  You never know what twists and turns are going to pop out on this journey of life but one thing I know and understand is that not only is it nice to have friends and family who are constant in their love and support but it is so much easier to walk this journey when you walk it knowing that the one you talk to the most and trust in more then anything has your back and is more constant then the characteristics of a puppy and He fights for you like a lion would his cub (a little Muffasa/ Simba action right there).  Constant.... I am remaining confident in the creator who is so constant.

Never Question Honor...

There has been a lot in my life that has resulted in me really wanting to ask the "What Ifs" or "Why me" questions.  This morning as I read my pastor's blog, www.toddbishop.tv I was reminded of the importance of certain questions.  I've always enjoyed being around kiddos, they make me laugh, their so creative, and they have a desire to learn (among a few of my favorite things about them).  I can deal without the boogies and the sticky jelly hands oh and for sure without the farting on command (Special Thanks to a certain almost 8yr old PK... Malachi- thanks for teaching me the power of the stench).  But the one thing I have always appreciated about kids is the way they constantly ask questions form the WHYs all the time just because to the most knowledge and truth seeking questions I have heard like wanting to know more about the word redemption.  I've been given the AMAZING honor to pastor the children at the Point Church for the last 2 years and working with them for about 3 years and I must say I think I have learned more from them over the last few years then I have taught them.  I've learned that faith really is simple.  I have learned that loving your neighbor makes your life greater.  I have learned that there is no greater joy then serving God with your whole heart and I have learned that God loves me no matter what.  Now some of that I already knew... but the way kids approach things puts stuff in to a whole new perspective.  I cannot begin to unfold the honor it has been to learn, lead and love the kiddos I have been granted the opportunity to serve.  But that opportunity would not have come if a crazy formerly hickish youth pastor had not stepped into my world a little over 12 years ago.  My pastor Todd Bishop is one of the most amazing, genuine, compassionate men I have ever had the opportunity to learn, grow, and serve with.  When others didn't even seem to see me this man and his AMAZING wife Mary saw the potential God had in me.  He refuse to let me just be an "average joe" kind of kid, he knew there was more to my future then that.  I didn't see it and sometime truthfully now I have trouble seeing it, but I know that my pastor and his wife believe in me.  I know that this guy who saw something in me 12 year ago still sees something in me now... he sees potential.  We have this catch phrase at our church.... UNLEASHING YOUR FULL REDEMPTIVE POTENTIAL #FRP.  It means that we believe God is taking you FROM something, through something and ultimately to something.  The from and the through are not always exciting but the to is what you need to have hope in.  It's a lot easier to have hope in something when you have amazing people in your corner.  And while I may really want to ask the questions of the who, what, where, when why and how.... I know that it is more important to learn from the moments and experiences.  Asking questions is great but being prepared to learn is essential.  Today I just wanted to publicly put it out there that I am HONORED to know Todd and Mary Bishop for as long as I have and I am BLESSED to be allowed to serve with them and to be able to call them not just friends and my pastor but FAMILY.  So much love and respect for the Bishops, I probably would not have made it this far in the journey without them investing in me.  Love you both and HONORED to have you in my life.

conjoined....

So my cousin posted a status on Facebook tonight... "just found out my maternal grandmother was a conjoined twin" (or something along those lines).  I commented on the post since she happens to have been my grandmother as well.  See our grandmother was born in 1931, was a conjoined twin and her parents had to choose.  My great grandmother was just glad that they were here and that one would be a healthy baby so my great grandfather had to choose.  My grandmother Georgia-Bell and her brother were connected at the head (from what I've been told) so their parents had to pick one of them, they shared a brain so there was no way they could both survive.  Now I'm not the greatest of history buffs but I am pretty sure that in 1931 having a son was more profitable for a family, being that men are typically stronger and at that point were with out a doubt at that point considered the bread winners in families, so choosing the girl seems a little abnormal, but then again that sounds like my family and without a doubt my life.

I won't sit here and pretend that I was the tightest with my grandmother she had a few strokes and had a rough time with communication for most of my life and we lived like 8 hours away from her.  But I do know that her dad made a choice that altered the course of my family's history.  Because my grandfather decided to pick his little girl I have the most amazing dad in the world and I have life.  His choice cause my family to be able to exist.  I could not imagine having to make the choice that he made but my world wouldn't even exist it he had no made that choice.

Over the last few weeks I have been thinking... "am I really meant to do all this???" "is there purpose to my life???"... I mean I know that I am called.. chosen and set apart but some times I need a friendly reminder... and well.. today I was blown away by the thought that a choice... NOT an easy one... was made 81 years ago that forever altered history.  Great grandpa... I know you'll never read this but thank you for making the hardest choice ever... I can't help but think and believe that you had strong faith in God to know that it would all work out.

Called... Chosen... Set Apart

A few weeks ago I was in the office and I was attempting to dial the phone 5 attempts later of dialing the wrong number and skipping numbers I finally called the place I was trying to call.  (Sometimes I have blonde moments...)  As my office buddy and I laughed at how silly I was with my inability to dial a phone I thought back to how this whole journey at the Point Church started for me... not so much the interview process and how I KNEW beyond the shadow of a doubt that this is where I needed to be.  I was prepared to sacrifice whatever was needed because I knew what I was called to do.

Called... what do I mean???  Well... when I was a kid I went through some pretty horrific experiences and I felt like life was probably not really worth living let a lone trying to succeed in.  I felt like I was useless and that there was NO way I was ever going to amount to anything.  I felt like I did the first 5 times I dialed that number... pretty foolish.  Foolish because I had messed up so badly, because things were so far out of my control and so far out of reach for me.  There was no way I was ever going to get that number right so why bother trying to make the call.

I didn't come from a family who had great wealth, or even the best of relationships all the time.  I wasn't the smartest kid in my class all the time.  I didn't have the most athletic ability.  I wasn't a kid that stood out above the rest.  There was nothing that made me special in the typical way the world would look at someone and think, oh what yeah that kid is going to do something great.

At a youth retreat one year I felt like the internal phone in head was ringing and that it was being said to me that there was something more for my life, but as I looked at my life I thought.. there's NO WAY.  Like I said I am not the most intellectual but the last time I checked... Called did NOT mean qualified.... chosen did NOT mean perfect and set apart did NOT mean typical.  So I guess not being qualified, perfect or typical kind of worked for me for once.

Phones ring around me all the time, I have to make calls constantly but no CALL has ever had such significance, such meaning, such appeal to me as the one I got that night at a youth retreat.... so here's to not being qualified... heres to not being perfect and here's to not being typical.

Just like that fireweed tattoo on my left foot I will continue to rise above the negative situations... I will continue to grow in HOPE, Faith and LOVE.. and I will keep close to my heart the call that was placed there about 12 years ago.

HOPE....

This month the elementary age kids at The Point Church are talking about HOPE. This past week as we introduced the new topic we talked about the fact that whatever happens we should remember what Jesus promised.

Hope isn't just that word we casually say like.. I hope you have a great day or I hope you feel better soon or I hope I get that new video game. It's so much more then that.

If anyone has ever worked with elementary age kids there may be moments when you have found yourself thinking... I hope they sit still, I hope they listen, I hope they keep their hands to themselves, I hope they get something out of todays lesson. Well... the hope we are starting to talk about is so much deeper then even all of that.

As I taught last week some of those I hope thoughts popped into my head, a high energy weekend before spring break tends to bring on those moments. It wasn't until yesterday when I really realized what exactly that HOPE truly means.

I was heading home from a VERY long day. I was tired and thinking through some things but got caught in a thought, I found myself praying "God help me to use my story more often to impact the lives of others in a positive way..." (something along those lines) The next thing I know I am receiving a text from a friend who had just gotten some rough news. As I listened to her I was quickly reminded of what I had just prayed (legit like 5 minutes (if that) before hand). We talked for like 45 minutes and as we spoke I shared my story of HOPE. I told my friend about my "bad" situations that God some how has flipped and cause them to be "good" and in those moments we went from sadness and tears to smiles and laughter.

Hope doesn't mean that the moments of pain aren't going to come into our worlds it just means that we trust God enough to HOLD on to Him in those moments.

I love what I GET to do. Teaching kids and helping them discover things about who God is and what His plan is for them is such an AMAZING task, it's an HONOR. It's something I don't take lightly and something that brings me more joy then I ever could have imagined.

So what am I learning... I am learning that kids teach me just as much as I teach them and sometimes more, and that life lessons come when I am willing to learn and be taught.

A dad who prays..

A few months ago we had the honor of having the author of The Circle Maker, Mark Batterson join us at our church. Pastor Mark talked about his new book and the power of prayer. It was in incredible time, it was one of those moments though when you may not realize the power and potential of the influence until later on. In preparation for Pastor Mark I read the AMAZING book he wrote. While I was reading it one day my dad asked me if he could borrow my copy when I was done. I surprisingly had a second copy of the book, I gave it to my dad around 10pm... by 3pm the next day my dad had read the book from cover to cover and was quoting things left and right to me. I was pretty impressed, partly because of how quickly he read it, but more so because of how much it impacted him so deeply.

The Circle Maker is all about prayer, it's believing that your prayers are going to, can and will make a difference in your own life, in the lives of others and even in the most impossible of situations. If you're not willing to put the principles into practice The Circle Maker is just a book with some pretty cool stories. I fortunately have a dad who prays. My dad prays for his family, others, and situations that he nor anyone else other than God could really do something about.

Last Tuesday morning my families mini van got stolen from right out in front of our house. It left our family feeling pretty violated and it made it so that my car was the only car left for transportation for the house hold. Due to our crazy and busy schedules I wasn't all that much help and my car only fits 4-5 people (there's 7 of us). But, my dad is a praying dad... which encouraged the rest of us to pray and believe for something. My entire household (along with some Facebook & Twitter friends) began to pray and believe that God could and would do something to change our situation. My dad lost an entire week of work because he didn't have his car (which he needs for work), that was a major bummer. But God is faithful... and we decided to trust in Him. We were slightly discouraged by Saturday realizing that without our mini van transportation for things was going to become increasingly more difficult, but we kept circling and believing. My dad went outside and walked and prayed circles believing that God had something in store for our family.

Around 9pm Saturday my brother asked me to move my car out of the drive way, I wasn't really sure why and then I went outside. Sitting in the very spot our mini van was stolen from was a conversion van. I walked over to my dad and the man driving the car and listened to the conversation and was BLOWN away by what was happening. This guy hands my dad the keys and says "you cannot be without a car." So as we sat in the van reflecting on how amazing God is I watch my praying father tear up, I was baffled at how awesome God was to my family in this situation and in so many others.

The best part of the story is without a doubt the fact that the man who gave the keys to my father is now more than likely joining our family for Easter. The thought of being beyond blessed with this amazing gift God brought into our lives is one thing but knowing that this extremely frustrating situation brought about some pretty incredible life changing moments is even more incredible. (PS... Point People, the man who handed my dad the keys to the car was written on the door of influence a few weeks ago... SO don't loose hope and keep praying for the names you wrote on the door)

I am so incredibly thankful for my dad who prays. His faith and belief has inspired my family to believe a little bigger and to open our hearts and minds to the fact that sometimes a not so awesome situation can be used to bring about AMAZING moments that draw people back to or to God.

This is what God blessed my family with... this is what sitting inside of an answered prayer circle looks like...

The Ides of March...

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH.....

As I thought about how much time has past and how life has changed so incredibly I was filled with different emotions. I was instantly thankful as I reflected. It's been an incredible journey in my life in general. I have walked though some incredible moments. There have been times that my breathe was taken away in awe and moments where my heart dropped in absolute pain. I've seen a lot of awesome things like births, marriages, restored relationships, families growing closer together and so much more. I've also had the unfortunate honor of walking through some of lifes most difficult moments in my own life and while walking with others. It's been a CRAZY life, but it's been a good life, and it's my life... I wouldn't change the moments even the ones that were kind of crummy because they have helped shape and mold me.

THREE years of being a part of one of the coolest decisions I have made in my life. THREE year mark of me being a part of the BEST team I have ever been a part of (and that comes from a kid who played sports her whole life). THREE years of being challenged in a whole new way. THREE years of being ALLOWED to the opportunity and honor of being able to do what I LOVE getting to do. THREE years of being a part of something that I truly feel is making a difference. THREE years of being HOME!!!!

While there are things I miss about other places I've been the words to the Switch Foot Song THIS IS HOME still ring LOUD and CLEAR in my head... Now I know Yeah, this is home I've come too far And I won't go back Yeah, this is home

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH BECAUSE YOUR WHOLE WORLD COULD CHANGE IN JUST ONE MOMENT!!!!!

Power of words...

I'm about to let out a secret that you may or may not have known... words pack A LOT of power. The power to up lift a situation or a circumstance and the power to rip someone apart.

Unfortunately I personally am not always aware of that fact. There are moments when I say things that can bring hurt and harm to others. I try to catch myself in those situations but sometimes I'm not quick enough to catch my words before they are spewed out. I find myself saying sorry for things that I say that hurt others unintentionally and wishing that I hadn't opened my mouth at all. I unfortunately cannot go back and erase that words that I've sometimes spoken about others or to others. My heart breaks at that thought. Knowing you hurt people you love with the same mouth you were always able to love and encourage with rips me apart. In moments like that I know not only did I say and do something that could hurt or affect someone I care about but that I also grieve God's heart. Fortunately for me God forgives pretty easily... I mess up a lot not just with my words but in life in general and I without a doubt need that grace and love and compassion that He shows me when I go to Him and am truly sorry for the things I have said and done. Unfortunately for me people are people and most times hurt takes time to get over. I've been on the receiving end of hurtful words and those scars are deep. Certain things people say (even if it's not the person who originally said it) trigger feelings of past hurts and I have to remind myself that forgiveness sets me free as well. This isn't really what I wanted to blog about but I guess I needed to be reminded (love when I get these gentle reminders).

What I really wanted to talk about was the POSITIVE side to the power of words. This morning I received a text from someone asking for prayer. It was a situation that their family really needed to know God was in. I stopped what I was doing and began to pray for this family and the situation they were facing. I posted on facebook "Praying for a family who is waiting on God for an answer... Lord bring peace in the waiting." People who knew the situation liked it and within moments that prayer was answered. Now I know full well that prayer doesn't always work like that and it's not always that quick but I quickly became consumed with some pretty awesome thoughts. What if that family hadn't reached out for prayer? What if people hadn't responded in prayer? What if the words we prayer weren't prayed? Would the situation have been different? See the power of words this morning was also in the power of prayer. When you allow your words to be impacted by the God who gives you enough air in your lungs to speak the words it's like your words end up having super powers.


I am incredibly thankful for the out come of that situation and equally thankful for the lesson(s) God allowed me to learn through that situation. Thankful for friends who pray and thankful that I was given the chance to be a friend who prayed, but even more then that, thankful for a God who answers prayers because that situation was an immense blessing in my world and in their lives today. So glad God knows what He is doing!

Frogs...

When I hear the word leap more often then not I think of that silly game I used to play on the playground, leap frog. It never really dawns on me that LEAP year is even happening, probably because I never understood how all of the sudden there was an extra day in a year. Really? Every four years we get a whole extra day... that's kind of a cool thought.

Here's a thought that even I didn't think too much about... what will you do with your extra 24 hours, or in this case what did you do with your extra day?

I was given an entire extra day to influence people, to make a difference in some one's life and as I reflect through out my day I have to think.. did I do that? Did anyone have a better year this year because on that extra day that we were given I made a difference? Did I go out of my way to do something kind for someone else? Was I loving toward my family? Did I treat my co-workers with respect and honor? Did I try to bridge the gap in a fractured relationship? Did I love people with the love I carry deep with in my heart because of who I say I really love (Jesus)? Did I do anything today that made today worth being an added bonus to the 2012 calendar in my life?

Sounds a little tough but, they are without a doubt questions that I have pondered today. It felt good to be able to answer most of those questions with a YES, but it also made me think and realize that just because it's an extra day doesn't mean it should be treated any different.

FEBRUARY 29th or March 23 doesn't matter what day it is, I should always strive to live so that at the end of the day the answer to ALL of those questions is... YES.

Am I going to get it right all the time... NO.. I'm human... and a screw up, but should I strive to make every day count... ABSOLUTELY.

So here's to you LEAP DAY... thanks for making me THINK a little more about how I spend my time!

Valentine's Day....

I woke up this morning... walked through my regular routine, hit the snooze a few times, get up, read my bible journal for a while, get ready, check email. Some how when I wrote the date in my journal I didn't make the connection between the 14th and it being Valentine's day. When I read an email from a really good friend who lives all the way on the other side of the world I realized... oh yeah... wow... ok. See when you've lived through more Valentine's Days single then you have with someone who has an interest in you or whatever you just treat it like any other day. I'm not bitter, angry or jealous that I don't have some amazing guy sending me flowers and chocolate or taking me out on some really great date because honestly I want THE BEST that God has for me. I feel like if I had a Valentine today (other than a joke one) today I would be settling for less than THE BEST.

You see this really smart couple once told me that Dating was BAD, and that I should pray specifically for who I want to end up with. I have no interest in aimlessly dating. No interest in picking a random guy to allow to steal a piece of my heart. No interest in having to remember a period of time in my life by who I was with. I don't want my life to revolve around any man but THE MAN that was designed perfectly for me. I don't want to deal with the broken heart that I have seen so many of my friends have to deal with. Don't get me wrong there are other things that can and will break a heart but relationship wise it doesn't have to happen. (In my opinion anyway)

There are a lot of GREAT guys out there... I know a few... some of them are truly incredible but I want the BEST not just great. See I really believe that I am someone's rib. I believe that I am intended for a specific guy and he was designed for me. That we won't complete each other but that we will enhance each others lives.

Would I like to have someone to call at the end of the day and say good night to sure. Would I love to have someone who texts me cheesy stuff during the day yupp (my boss would probably hate it if the texts distracted me). Would I love to receive daisies and chocolate... duhhh.... I am a girl! But am I ready to be who he deserves? Am I ready to be the best Valentine he could ever ask for.... probably not. There will always be growth that needs to happen in my world but I want to be the BEST for him just as much as I want him to be the BEST for me.

So until then I will choose to be the girl in waiting this Valentines Day and all the days to follow until HE say's I am ready for him and he is ready for me. Why settle for the best that right now has to offer when you can have GOD's BEST for your life?!?!?!

Growth Spurts....

As a former kid and someone who is around kids all the time I have experienced and watched others go through growth spurts. Growth is needed, there is NO way around that. Our bodies are no where near the same from the moment of conception we are growing and changing. Which is probably a good thing because if we all looked like that alien sack that babies look like in the womb around month 5 we'd look weird (although we'd all be used to it by now so we'd probably be ok with it). But still I'm glad we don't look like that.

Thing is growth isn't just needed in the physical aspect of the word it's also needed in the rest of life. If we never grow emotionally we would cry every time we were hungry (which some people do... I have friends who for sure get Hangry (angry b/c they are hungry)--> Thank you Josh Sepulveda for teaching me cool words). And I know I get a little (or a lot) frustrated when I get tired. But for the most part we all grow and mature emotionally. We also obviously grow physically, we get taller, our bodies change. Some times that process it painful... I remember as a kid having to take children's tylenol and motrin when I was going through growth spurts some times because it was painful. There is also spiritual growth. Sometimes that growth is rapid, sometimes it's slow, it hurts some times and at other times it's painless.

Personally I have been walking though a little bit of a spiritual growth spurt. Through things I am reading in my bible, in other books, in prayer, in conversation, in counseling, and life experiences lately God has been messing me up. It's been an intense process. Some moments have been amazing and mountain top experiences, where when I'm walking through it all I see is the amazingness around me. Some have been less epic and more heart breaking and gut wrenching. Some have ripped me up inside. Some have caused some me to need to deal with some deep rooted hurts. Some have caused me to get real quiet and sit alone for a while. Some have cause me to reach out to others for guidance, love, support, and encouragement (which every once in a while was a good swift kick in the pants). Some have brought me to tears. But most ALL of them have driven me to my knees.

I am learning that my weak knees to best when I am kneeling on them and crying out for God to step in. I'm learning that my strength is found in Christ alone. I'm learning that my heart is not as weak as I thought it was. I am learning that the promise God makes in Philippians 4:13 (msg) "I can make it through anything in the ONE who makes me who I am" is without a doubt true. I know that I can stand firm on the promises of what God has for me. I know that HE is for me. I know that no matter what I have had to live though He's got this! Scripture has been hitting me hard and impacting my life in such a positive way. Reading and praying through scriptures has been extremely impacting.

Loving this growth spurt, even though it's painful it's been good! =)

What do Cop shows have to do with real life?

I really like COP shows... you know like NCIS, CSI, NCIS LA, and PSYCH (NCIS & PSYCH being my favorites, just in case you were wondering). I love the mystery behind them, and often the humor involved especially in Psych. I enjoy trying to figure out who did what as the show goes along and I really like to laugh, so the two being put together in one situation just makes it even better.

In the last few weeks I've been reading a lot more then I used to excluding college, which I think may have robbed my joy of reading a little bit. The trouble with reading is, you learn, the trouble with learning is, you grow. See learning and growth are VERY good things but in my little world I like to see what's coming, often though, especially lately the learning and growth has been "out of left field" experiences. Life has handed me some crazy growth moments lately. Some have been really cool, some a little more painful then others, and some incredibly faith building.

At the start of this year I felt a prompting to do a Daniel Fast, a week later my pastor Todd Bishop was talking to our staff during a staff meeting and encouraging us to go on a Daniel Fast as a team and a church, it was both encouraging and scary because I knew I needed to be prepared for God to do something in my life. I committed to the fast and to a time of specific prayer. We are 18 days into that journey and it's been incredible (fasting wise it was the first 10 days). I started journaling more and praying and believing for bigger things.

So why cop shows??? Well like I said before, I really like trying to figure out what is going to happen. I enjoy the mystery and the humor (usually the humor involved in the stupidity of those who think they can get away with certain things). Not just in cop shows but also in my life I like attempting to figure out WHAT is going to happen. I like to know the what, and also the when... lets be real I like the how, the why, the who, and the where. Lets be real most people like to know what's coming at them. If a baseball bat is being beamed at your head, it's be nice to know it's coming so you have time to react.

The thing is I have been taken out of my cop show domain, which has been a little uneasy at times, but adventurous in the very same breath. I've been praying longer, journaling more, dreaming bigger, thinking broader, and believing for far more then ever before. It's been CRAZY! I feel like God is probably enjoying the Cop Show thought process that I usually have... the whole, look at this clown thinking she is going to get away with this. Not that I have been trying to get away with any thing or whatever but I feel like God is looking down and almost laughing saying... ha ha ha... watch what I can do.

Cop shows might not have a whole lot to do with real life but, I am amazed at how God helps me to see things differently now. It's crazy how He allows for certain things to happen and stuff that would otherwise be ordinary to create extraordinary moments or thought in my little world.

Circle Circle Dot Dot...

A few weeks ago Pastor Mark Batterson, author of The Circle Maker (and a bunch of other awesome books) as well as the pastor of National Community Church in DC, was at our church. Over the last few weeks I have read this amazing book and got the chance to hear Mark Batterson talk about this book and prayer in a practical real life way. Mark Batterson, it's safe to say may very well be a modern day hero of faith in my world. The guy just helps you realize that God can do so much more then we typically believe for in prayer. He challenges you to DREAM BIG... believe for the impossible, THINK LONG... don't just believe for the here and now, and PRAY HARD... don't just pray for your meals "good bread good meat good God let's eat" but pray and believe that God can and will answer prayers. Mark also talks about how to handle unanswered prayers, because lets be real sometimes we feel like our prayers haven't been answered. If you haven't read The Circle Maker or any of Mark Batterson's books... get on that!!!!!

I am so thankful for the opportunity to have been influenced by Mark Batterson. But what good is influence if you don't allow God to grow you though it? Through reading The Circle Maker and hearing Mark talk about prayer my entire prayer life has changed. The way I approach God and the things I am believing God for have completely changed. As someone who grew up in church and went to Bible College it's strange to think that my prayer life would need to change but it was without a doubt a needed change in my life. It never dawned on me to pray the promises in scripture as though they were made directly to me as well. I mean I always ready the bible and prayed and believed God could and would do great things, but I kept it general, I never got real specific. I had gotten away from journaling my prayers. So first conviction hit hard and I got real with God, then I moved passed the conviction and into the reality of what I needed to move into, or get back to in some cases.

I put my best foot forward and started a new routine... it's pretty basic but it I believe it has propelled me into something deeper. I have decided to start each morning with prayer by asking God to reveal to me what I should pray for. Then I read my bible and underline and circle some promises from God. Then I pray through those promises in my life, for the church I have to HONOR of serving at, for my family and for my friends. But I don't just say words, I write them down and I pray through, and believe for God to do something incredible in the lives and places in my world that mean so much to me. I've been asking God to reveal to me things, people and situations I should be praying for and in a separate journal I am drawing circles around those things. It feels so weird to say but I have NEVER prayed like this before. I've never been so specific and so intentional in my prayers.

As I move forward and continue to grow my prayer is that I will continually seek God for what I should be praying for, ask Him to teach me how to pray, and to be intentional with my prayers. So far so good... and I am looking forward to the amazing things God has in store for my life, my AMAZING church, and my family and friends.

***** Lord make me a Circle Maker!!!!!*******

SIxty...

Sixty years ago God chose to bring a little bouncy baby boy in the the world. He picked this little guy before the foundations of the world to be the oldest child of John and Georgiabell. They have 4 more after him. He was the level headed big brother whoalways tried to help his siblings to things that would do his best to help his siblings strive and survive. Their lives weren't perfect but they were a triumphant group. The little boy grew up to be your average guy who worked a jobas a manager at mcdonalds to pay the bills. It was there he met a woman who he fell in love with. While working their shifts at mcdonalds they grew in their relationship. After 3 months they got engaged... which obviously lead to a wedding. They got married toward the end of October in 1979 soon after they started a family, two boys then a little girl and their family continued to grow. This man wasn't your average joe, he was (and is) an AMAZING man. You know the kind of guy who would do ANYTHING for his family and friends. The kind of guy who wants to live every day like it's his last andin a way that at the end of his life will lead him to God saying to him "WELL done good and FAITHFUL servant."

Who is this guy you ask... this guy... this average joe, everyday super hero... he's my daddy... and I am so honored to be his daughter. My dad is one of those guys who people might look at and think, what's so special about him, well let me tell you what's so special about him. First of all, he was the first man who ever loved me so that alone makes him incredible (not because I am awesome but because I am ever so often acomplicated mess and he still loves me no matter what). My dad is an over comer, you tell him he can't or he shouldn't and he's going to do his darndest to prove you wrong.My dad is kindhearted, he'd give you the shirt off his back and anything elseyou'd ask for, simply because he's THAT GUY. My dad is compassionate, he's got the biggest heart I have EVER known, he loves so much and is not really concerned about the love returned. My dad has so many amazing qualities and some day I hope I imitate even a portion of his positive attributes to the people in my world. My dad is an amazing man and I am so thankful that God has allowed me the HONOR of being his daughter.

HAPPY 60th BIRTHDAY to the greatest Dad in the world. I love you daddy! Happy Birthday!!!! (AND MANNNNYYYYYY MORRRREEEEE)

My Daddy and I the first time we ever met! =)

My dad who would do ANYTHING for me and I at our church Christmas Party this year! =)

Most of his kiddos... Fathers day 2011