conjoined....

So my cousin posted a status on Facebook tonight... "just found out my maternal grandmother was a conjoined twin" (or something along those lines).  I commented on the post since she happens to have been my grandmother as well.  See our grandmother was born in 1931, was a conjoined twin and her parents had to choose.  My great grandmother was just glad that they were here and that one would be a healthy baby so my great grandfather had to choose.  My grandmother Georgia-Bell and her brother were connected at the head (from what I've been told) so their parents had to pick one of them, they shared a brain so there was no way they could both survive.  Now I'm not the greatest of history buffs but I am pretty sure that in 1931 having a son was more profitable for a family, being that men are typically stronger and at that point were with out a doubt at that point considered the bread winners in families, so choosing the girl seems a little abnormal, but then again that sounds like my family and without a doubt my life.

I won't sit here and pretend that I was the tightest with my grandmother she had a few strokes and had a rough time with communication for most of my life and we lived like 8 hours away from her.  But I do know that her dad made a choice that altered the course of my family's history.  Because my grandfather decided to pick his little girl I have the most amazing dad in the world and I have life.  His choice cause my family to be able to exist.  I could not imagine having to make the choice that he made but my world wouldn't even exist it he had no made that choice.

Over the last few weeks I have been thinking... "am I really meant to do all this???" "is there purpose to my life???"... I mean I know that I am called.. chosen and set apart but some times I need a friendly reminder... and well.. today I was blown away by the thought that a choice... NOT an easy one... was made 81 years ago that forever altered history.  Great grandpa... I know you'll never read this but thank you for making the hardest choice ever... I can't help but think and believe that you had strong faith in God to know that it would all work out.

Called... Chosen... Set Apart

A few weeks ago I was in the office and I was attempting to dial the phone 5 attempts later of dialing the wrong number and skipping numbers I finally called the place I was trying to call.  (Sometimes I have blonde moments...)  As my office buddy and I laughed at how silly I was with my inability to dial a phone I thought back to how this whole journey at the Point Church started for me... not so much the interview process and how I KNEW beyond the shadow of a doubt that this is where I needed to be.  I was prepared to sacrifice whatever was needed because I knew what I was called to do.

Called... what do I mean???  Well... when I was a kid I went through some pretty horrific experiences and I felt like life was probably not really worth living let a lone trying to succeed in.  I felt like I was useless and that there was NO way I was ever going to amount to anything.  I felt like I did the first 5 times I dialed that number... pretty foolish.  Foolish because I had messed up so badly, because things were so far out of my control and so far out of reach for me.  There was no way I was ever going to get that number right so why bother trying to make the call.

I didn't come from a family who had great wealth, or even the best of relationships all the time.  I wasn't the smartest kid in my class all the time.  I didn't have the most athletic ability.  I wasn't a kid that stood out above the rest.  There was nothing that made me special in the typical way the world would look at someone and think, oh what yeah that kid is going to do something great.

At a youth retreat one year I felt like the internal phone in head was ringing and that it was being said to me that there was something more for my life, but as I looked at my life I thought.. there's NO WAY.  Like I said I am not the most intellectual but the last time I checked... Called did NOT mean qualified.... chosen did NOT mean perfect and set apart did NOT mean typical.  So I guess not being qualified, perfect or typical kind of worked for me for once.

Phones ring around me all the time, I have to make calls constantly but no CALL has ever had such significance, such meaning, such appeal to me as the one I got that night at a youth retreat.... so here's to not being qualified... heres to not being perfect and here's to not being typical.

Just like that fireweed tattoo on my left foot I will continue to rise above the negative situations... I will continue to grow in HOPE, Faith and LOVE.. and I will keep close to my heart the call that was placed there about 12 years ago.

HOPE....

This month the elementary age kids at The Point Church are talking about HOPE. This past week as we introduced the new topic we talked about the fact that whatever happens we should remember what Jesus promised.

Hope isn't just that word we casually say like.. I hope you have a great day or I hope you feel better soon or I hope I get that new video game. It's so much more then that.

If anyone has ever worked with elementary age kids there may be moments when you have found yourself thinking... I hope they sit still, I hope they listen, I hope they keep their hands to themselves, I hope they get something out of todays lesson. Well... the hope we are starting to talk about is so much deeper then even all of that.

As I taught last week some of those I hope thoughts popped into my head, a high energy weekend before spring break tends to bring on those moments. It wasn't until yesterday when I really realized what exactly that HOPE truly means.

I was heading home from a VERY long day. I was tired and thinking through some things but got caught in a thought, I found myself praying "God help me to use my story more often to impact the lives of others in a positive way..." (something along those lines) The next thing I know I am receiving a text from a friend who had just gotten some rough news. As I listened to her I was quickly reminded of what I had just prayed (legit like 5 minutes (if that) before hand). We talked for like 45 minutes and as we spoke I shared my story of HOPE. I told my friend about my "bad" situations that God some how has flipped and cause them to be "good" and in those moments we went from sadness and tears to smiles and laughter.

Hope doesn't mean that the moments of pain aren't going to come into our worlds it just means that we trust God enough to HOLD on to Him in those moments.

I love what I GET to do. Teaching kids and helping them discover things about who God is and what His plan is for them is such an AMAZING task, it's an HONOR. It's something I don't take lightly and something that brings me more joy then I ever could have imagined.

So what am I learning... I am learning that kids teach me just as much as I teach them and sometimes more, and that life lessons come when I am willing to learn and be taught.