I'm not PERFECT but HE is...

Does a lack of communication mean a lack of care/ concern for ones well being?

Does shutting down because you've been hurt mean you no longer love?

Does feeling abandoned make you bi-polar?

Does wanting chocolate mean you're without a doubt PMSing?

Does being a girl mean I HAVE to wear pink, talk about boys and twirl my hair?

I don't think any of those things are proven to be absolutely true. Sometimes though the way some one acts or reacts causes others to shift what is actually true. Sometimes people react to hurt by doing things completely out of character. Sometimes they act out in fear because if someone actually knew what they were thinking or feeling they might think less of them. Sometimes chocolate just tastes good... no that's not true... chocolate always tastes good, but sometimes you just "have to" have it. I'm pretty sure that not all girls do all the girliest things in the world, at least I hope so, otherwise there's a whole other mystery going on up in here.

What I'm trying to say and I may not be getting it out there as clear as I would like it to be is... misconceptions, misunderstandings, miscommunications and misdirection are all mis-wack but they happen, and they happen, despite seemingly popular belief to EVERYONE. Even the people who others think should be "better then that" go through all of that, just as often if not more because people expect certain things.

I am becoming increasingly more aware of the fact that I am NOT in anyway shape or for perfect or even close to it... shocking I KNOW...ha. I know its lame but that Simple Plan song "Perfect" keeps playing over and over in my head lately... (did a children's pastor just say Simple Plan... yes, yes I did).... you know the song I'm talking about...

'Cause we lost it all
Nothin' lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

Why that song? Because of the last line in the chorus I just posted... "I'm sorry I can't be perfect" There's so much pressure in the world to be perfect, to do things a certain way and to not deviate from the plan. People forget to let you breathe a little and give you the room to make mistakes. No matter who you are you deserve the opportunity to fail. And not it that, wow you're a screw up no one cares about you sort of way, but in the way where you're human, and you are without a doubt going to make mistakes.

Crazy dumb rant I'm having here but... it's just something that's be circling in my mind the last few days. Especially this time of year I begin to think about all that I've done wrong and how messed up my life is at times, and then how messed up it was or could have been and I start to be come so incredibly thankful for the true reason for this season. I start to think about that little baby who was born in a stable for my imperfect self. I start to think about how his parents looked at him that first night and probably thought... and we're going to have to be willing to say "it's ok" to the plan God has laid out for his life. And suddenly my worry about being as perfect as possible seems to matter wayyyyy less and I realize that if I was perfect I wouldn't need a savior.

I'm so thankful that the SAVIOR came for my imperfect self and that He sees my imperfection and still LOVES me and not only does He love me but He's got a plan for my life.

Gracefully

My parents never let me take up karate. I was involved in other things like church and softball my whole childhood and when I got into jr high I played four sports and stayed involved in church. So I'm not complaining that I wasn't involved in things, just incase you needed the clarification. Although I never took a karate class in my life I know that they teach you that you should not use karate for anything other than self de-fence. I may not have learned karate but I did learn the concept of only fighting when it's unavoidable. Through out my school years I would love to say that I did an excellent job of making sure I stuck to that concept but there were moments I failed at it. In elementary school I fought so much that I almost got sent home for lunch time because I got in fights pretty much every recess. I was trouble. I cleaned up my act though (I had a very healthy fear of my parents). I fell off the fighting wagon in8thgrade when I got into a fist fight for a boy who called me names and I got angry, I slammed him into a locker and then he punched me in the face (there's still a little dent in the bone surrounding my left eye). It took 4 guys to hold me back.

I became a little less physical but would still fight. I can be pretty stubborn so sometimes it seems like I am fighting when really I'm just being stubborn.... all that to let you know... I am learning to master the art of karate. No I am not taking classes or googling how to videos. I am learning to NOT FIGHT, unless it's unavoidable. Although there are things that I strongly believe in and people who I would do ANYTHING for I am learning that not fighting and bowing out gracefully is what HAS TO happen. Sometimes there are moments or situations where people, places, or things are worth the fight and sometimes bowing out is the best thing youcan do for the situation. Life has handed me some messed up circumstances that I have had to live through. Moments which I would not wish on even my worst enemy, but they were the hand I was dealt so I've been playing the hand and doing my best to just stay in the game. Recently I have gotten hit with some stuff from left field and well it's affected me. My fight instinct came out a few times and it wasn't always the best answer. So I made a decision in the last few days with certain situations... I will bow out gracefully. I will although it will legit rip my heart out in some circumstances walk away and not put up my dukes. I willnot fight, unless it is unavoidable and it is without a doubt worth the fight. There will be no fight for people who don't deem me to be important in their worlds. There will be no fight for people to see me the way I think they should. There will be no fight for anything other then things that are worth the fight. I will learn that basic principle of karate and not fight unless it is unavoidable. I will bow out gracefully.

Bridges, Basements, Building (and some boxes)

A few years ago I came home to visit for a weekend. During that visit I sat down with my former youth pastor to catch up with him. He was always interested in what was going on in my life. What was I doing, was I dating someone, how was school going, was I working, who was I spending time with, and how life in general was going. He always checked in on me so visiting him at his office wasn't really out of the ordinary. We sat and had our usual checking in conversation, he asked me the easy questions and was never afraid or hesitant to ask me the not so easy questions. He always kept it real and always made sure I was focused on things. He and his AMAZING wife invested in me from the moment he arrived on Long Island and for that I will forever be indebted. I had a rough life growing up and when this youth pastor came on the scene he helped me to see the potential God saw in me. (Every now and then I need a gentle reminder of that and I am thankful that PT and Mary are still people who are there to do that.) Anyway... this meeting was a little different... He wanted to tell me about something that was going on in their lives. That wasn't out of the ordinary but what he said was unexpected. He told me they would be stepping down from their position at the church which made me sad b/c I knew the influence he and Mary had at the church especially with kids like me. But what he said next excited me.... they were going to be leaving so they could plant a church. I was so excited for them and for the people who would eventually walk through the doors of where ever that church ended up being. So I began to pray for my amazing youth pastor and his wife and their young son as they ventured out into the unknown. I know you're probably thinking... ok so what.... your youth pastor planted a church.... well... first of all that's a HUGE deal, but there is more. About a year into their journey I came home for another visit. I walked into their church (in a movie theater) and felt this crazy sense of "home".... it was so inviting and you could tell these people really loved what they were doing, from the people handing out information to the worship team and of course the crazy guy speaking up front. I quickly became a fan and anytime I came home to visit in the next few months this was the church I would visit. And then it happened, I crossed over the BRIDGE and headed home... my stuff was all packed up and I moved back in with mom and dad because this thing that was happening at this church was far too amazing to not want to be a part of. So that Monday I headed to PT and Mary's house to begin working in the office... in the basement of their house. This family sacrificed so much... including their personal space, they are incredible and deserve to be recognized for that. We ran the church from the basement of their house for a little over a year and then an opportunity to move into an office space came up and we took it. That office was huge to us at that point, space for everyone to work so we packed our BOXES and moved into our new BASEMENT office in an office building in the same town as our church. Our church was growing and developing into something even more amazing then that first time I walked into the theater. About a year ago on a random Saturday morning a small crew of us went to this building in this town a few minutes from where our church met and we walked through a building that was for sale. We walked through and prayed and we just trusted that God would do whatever it was that He wanted to do for our church. Well fast forward to today.... our church is meeting in that building, our office is no longer in a BASEMENT and we are running 2 services here on Sunday mornings, small groups during the week, worship practice one week night (which is huge b/c they used to rent studio space), and so much more. The CRAZIEST part is.... tomorrow.... our pastor signs the papers to make us the official OWNERS of this BUILDING!!!!!! THREE and a half years into this CRAZY awesome journey and GOD just continues to blow our minds. Can't wait to see what the future holds for thePOINT CHURCH as we strive together to reach our FULL REDEMPTIVE POTENTIAL!!!!!

So thank you BISHOP family for dreaming a crazy dream and going after it.... you have made a difference in the lives of so many people... thank you for believing that God had more in store, it is an HONOR to serve with you!

(A few pictures from our journey over the last few months....)

Hero's in a Half Shell

So when I was a kid I was pretty into Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

I have two older brothers so that more then likely had something to do with it. I mean I really really liked them. I was April Oneil for halloween one year even though I without a doubt wanted to be Michaelangelo... he was funny and cool. I liked turtles a lot and still do. I just think they are amazing. I like the way they carry everything that means something to them with them... they take their home with them, they're like little nomads. One thing that always kept me in awe was the fact that their bodies could retreat into theirshells. The closet nerd in me has without a doubt looked that up. And the reason I thought it was was a reason that happens... which I thought was cool. (I know I know... you are DYING to know what that reason is...)

Turtles retreat into their shell to protect themselves.

When they feel threatened they retreated into their shell. Turtles protect themselves from danger. They keep themselves out of harms way. So what's my take away on this little thought? Maybe I should learn something from turtles. Maybe I should be willing to pull away and hide out when I feel threatened. Maybe I should create some more boundries. Maybe I shouldn't allow some things that I allow. Maybe I should trust that some warning signs are really to help me be more aware of dangers that might be sneaking up on me. Maybe I should be just a little bit more like a turtle. Maybe I should keep me safe... or at least my heart. My heart had been bruised and broken far too many times in life and I am learning that although it heals it hurts so much and it's tough. So as I studied the turtle I remembered watching the teenage mutant ninja turtles and has this thought about being like a turtle but not just any turtle.... Michaelangelo. See he was a goofy dude, liked pizza, fun loving, a little crazy, and just chill. I like to think I'm a little like Michaelangelo.... thats prob a little big headed but whatever! But the think I ALWAYS liked about Michaelangelo was the way that he ALWAYS took care of the people he cared about.... his brothers, splinter, April Oniel. He was concerned for their safety and often unaware of the danger to himself. He had character and integrity (well as much as you can have as cartoon character).

So today as I think about turtles and how they protect themselves and how I am a little like Mickie I am realizing that there are some qualities I can take from both that would be a great idea to adapt to.

Missin ZION

Ok well not like way back in the day but a few years back.... ZION. Oh how I missZION! I miss the random security shifts as lame as that sounds. I miss scooping John Manna ice cream on my FELLY shifts. I miss random people in the student union. I miss silly post cards in my 412 mailbox. I miss Oregon Trail in the back row. Imissrandom notes between friends. I miss my second floor girls. I even miss sharing a bathroom and waiting for a hot shower. I miss random taco bell runs with the NORs or for the NORs. I miss dropping in on people at the random places of employment. I miss babysitting to have pocket cash. I miss 45 minute car rides to church and backagain. I miss talks with Tricia Gibb in her room... you know the kind of talk that at the end you forgot why you were crying. I miss dance parties in MB's room. I miss being across the hall neighbors with Erica Silva. I miss randomly saying "I'm nakedunder my clothes" after hearing "man in the dorm." I miss making random foodin themicrowave or hot pot. I miss creating new foods with Josh Goodwin and Ryan Atchison and the rest of the Zion Kitchen staff. I miss studying all night, or right beforeclasses. I miss being written up for wearing a sheet to class. I miss being writtenup for having back pockets. I miss being written up for cheering too loud at a world seriesgame on the radio. I miss being written up for having to pee at 11:10.... oops! I miss teachers who were willing to pour their lives into yours even when it didn't fit so well into their schedules. I miss Bodley stories. I miss Count Blondo moments ofgreatness and AMAZING shoes that ALWAYS matched. I miss Princess Judy randomness and movie nights. I miss the Dean and all his deanisms like HACHES and bushes. I miss sister Jo and her insane wisdom. I miss PCope and being told he lovedme and he was proud of me or to get out of the boat or back into it or to cross the street with the chicken. I miss Brother Stanley and reading random books like HarryPotteras part of a class. I miss Paul Conway and his crazy costumes that he'd wear to help you remember what he was teaching. I miss Dr. Howel and how tough he was but onlybecause he saw the value in each student and he wanted us to learn. I misscrazyridiculous peanut butter fights with my friend Jason Graham. I miss random calls and letters from my youth pastor and youth group back home. I miss the church and the church family I was BLESSED enough to be impacted by. I miss going to the library and instant messaging from across the room. I miss Christina and her vanilla yogart and random car rides to the beach. I miss a lot of really random and kind of silly things and some really amazing things but what I miss most of all is....

Knowing that NO MATTER what, it didn't matter the time, or day or whatever else, there was ALWAYS someone who was willing to sit and listen and pray with you. Weather I was at church or at school in my time at Zion I always felt that sense of community. I always felt like no matter what was going on that there was at least one person if not 400 that I could run to to pray with. I was blessed to have AMAZING roommates, friends, teachers, and church leaders in my life at that time.

I could never wait to graduate I always thought the real world was going to be so amazing and that Zion was so blah, but now I realize that Zion and my time there was so short and well... I miss it. I wish I would have savored it more. I wish I could have bottled it up and taken it with me where ever I went in life but unfortunately Zion is over.... that makes me a little sad. I wish there were moments I could relive over and over again like Apple Picking in Upstate NY with a random group of friends, or that semester when chapel went forever and no one slept but God was moving and it was amazing, or a Bodley class where all of the sudden it was over and you were left thinking really that's it I want to know what happened with the lion or the elephant.

I am so thankful for the time I was blessed with at Zion and for the amazing connections I made with such great people. I am beyond blessed and I am so thankful for what God did in me in my time at Zion.

(I love what God is doing now... well minus the growth process... that womps a little. But sometimes it's nice to look back and see what God did.)

Mindbloggeling Monday.... carrying through...

Ok so on Mondays we ALWAYS have staff meeting (well for the most part). ThisMonday we started something new, our amazing lead pastor, Todd Bishop started to go through sort of a devotional and challenge with us. At first I was kind of frustrated with the topic that we were going to start with.... CHARACTER. You see it had been a rather tough weekend and I wasn't super impressed with myself and the way I actedand reacted to a few particularly tough situations. Well.... the good thing is.... God's forgiveness is extended to even a screw up like me and his LOVE knows nobounds. Good thing HE and I and a few other people had some chats before that staff meeting otherwise I'm not 100% sure I would have made it though that without the box of tissues I had been clinging to all weekend. Life has handed me some pretty crazy and messed up situations and I've lived through some junk but when I am thecause of other people's messes or when I create my own messes I get pretty frustrated with me.

On Monday Pastor Todd shared with us about Samson, you know that super tough guy who was brought down by some shady chick giving him a hair cut, yeah him.

Well before all that drama went down there was other drama... this guy was straight redic. Anyway... Samson is walking down this path (one hes kinda not supposed to be on) and he sees some chick, he decides he wants her so he tells his parents... they say NOOOO... but he insists and pursues her anyway. In my head I was thinking "Hey

FATHEAD... you're parents probably know what they are talking about MAYBE just MAYBE you should listen." But at the same time I know I've not listened to the advice of those wiser then me. Well he's not the brightest and he goes after this chick anyway.

A whole mess of junk happens and he continues to make some crazy STUPID (hope thats ok to say) choices. Although I was baffled at his lack of common sense and lack of intellect the thing that bothered me the most was his LACK of character and integrity. I mean really who does these things???? The dude killed 30 men and stole their stuff to make good on a bet... I mean really you don't realize that you are royally screwing up when you have to kill 30 men to make good on a silly bet? And who makes that choice... that's redic.

Whatevs this dude was nutts. So what did I pull away from our little staff "devo" time? First of all that God can use our failures for good things... and I am beyond thankful for that b/c I need redos all the time. It's that whole being human thing... gets me every time. But really I came away thinking... Dear God... Help me to continue to develop character that you would be proud of. Help me to be more like you and less like me with every breath I take. Help me to be honest with myself and others. Help me to listen with open ears and a quiet mouth. Help me to be who you created me to be. (and a little bit more)

Honestly though... my thought was... God if I am ever walking down a Samson path of destruction please help me to see the warning signs, please put people in my path who will redirect me and help me to see that I am going the wrong way...

So Samson... thanks for messing up and thanks for being someone I could learn from! (Not that you will ever actually see this but it's nice to say thank you)

BLOWN AWAY

So I went to bible college... yup that happened... I remember it well... good times... great friends... and much growth and learning. But I kind of let something fall through the cracks post grad. I never really truly went after my license with the AG, I just became content in doing what I was doing and let myself be consumed by my fear of test taking and made the choice to not go after something I wanted. Silly fears creeping in and trying to steal something away. In the last year I have completed a class that I needed to be able to even enquire about my license... apparently over cutting a class wasn't the BEST idea this bible college grad ever had.... ooops! Then a meeting about a year ago and today a talk with a district presbyter to find out about taking my test (that gives me the shakes a little bit). So tonight I went crazy looking for 4x6 index cards to make flash cards of a 2 page study guide...5 stores later and shopping for things i DIDN'T need I ended up finding index cards... the closet nerd in me was pretty pumped! Ten after 11 and I am done filling out the missing portions of my application and setting things up so that I can make flash cards during nap time at the nanny job tomorrow.

Although I'm nervous and know its a pretty big step in life I am excited to see how it affects my life, the amazing church I get to serve, and my future. It seems like such a natural step to take but its so crazy and it's blowing my mind that God would choose a screw up like me to take this step. Blownaway right now seriously BLOWN AWAY!!!!!

10 years....

10 years ago today i was sleeping, it was just another day with school to follow in themorning as men and women poured their coffee, took their showers and headed out the door to work as they normally did others boarded planes setting out to terrify a country. I had 8am classes that day so I probably got up at 7:45 and got ready in my10minute speedy way. Headed to class and sat toward the back like I always did... it was a regular average day why would I act different? All of the sudden midway through class another teacher bursts into our classroom saying a plane hit the World TradeCenter. I was like dude thats really NOT a funny joke. We stopped, prayed for whatever was going on and headed to find a TV. This was no joke and as we got to the TVs the second plane hit the second tower. I felt sick... I knew people who worked there, I had friends who's parents worked there, my family randomly traveled into the city sometimes. I was shaken and I was 300 miles away. Phone lines were down and I couldn't get in touch with my family for a few hours. In that time I did a lot of praying and crying... "dear God be with my family and loved ones." It drove me to my knees. As we watched and cried we were terrified that people we knew had been affected bythis event. We didn't believe it at first when they said it was a terrorist attack. Who would do something that sick? When I finally got to talk to some family and friendsthey told me they could see smoke from different areas, like from my friends college or my moms job or my high school.... we live 20 minutes away how could they see smoke... crazy! It all felt like a really bad dream as reports flooded in and the tragicnumbers of lives lost added up. But it didn't hit me until fall break. As we drove overthe Throgs Neck Bridge and the city sky line looked completely different. Tears streamed down my face as I looked and the buildings I had just been inside of and my friends and I opted to not go to the top till christmas break were no longer standing.

So today as I prepare to go to the place so many people found comfort and peace I pray that people who lost loved ones will find comfort and peace today. I pray that the men and women who sacrificed their lives at the world trade center and the other areas that were affected, I pray their lives wouldn't be in vain, I pray that we would continue to find the strength and the courage to move on and to do great things with our lives, for our country, for others and most importantly for God. I pray that the kids who lost their parents would be brought peace by their heavenly father. I pray that this tragic

even would not make the day that buildings fell and people died but the day that a nation came together for the greater good of man kind to rise above and awful situation.

9-11 victims and families, you will forever remain in my heart, thoughts and prayers. I am so thankful to be an American and so glad for the freedoms we have. Military personnel, firemen, police officers... THANK YOU for doing what you do!

REPLAY...

Gonna throw this song on replay and call it a day....

It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to to release all my held back tears

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly

Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something heavenly
Something heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out

I don't understand what God is doing in me or in my life right now but I am just going to trust that He knows what He's doing. I know He's got a plan for me and for my crazy mixed up world....

Difference and Impact..

Tonight I get the chance to hang out with my Pastor's AMAZING wife, Mary and my AWESOME friend Gina! We headed to the movies and sawThe Help... which by the way was an EXCELLENT movie... minus the whole swearing thing. A crazy story about the sad history of racism in our country. Can I just say I am so glad I live in a time and place where people are looked at way more equally and that race enhances our experiences in life. I have been so enriched by knowing so manydifferent people and our races, religious beliefs, ages, and backgrounds have only made the ways our lives can and do impact each other even better. I love the differences in people and the things that make us similar like the creativity of our creator. I love that my friends of different races and cultures have taught me about their backgrounds so that I could have to opportunity to learn new things like customs and beliefs behind things. Tonight as I watched The Help I realized that I was sitting inbetween two extremely special people (and not the "don't eat the paste" type of special). I realized I was sitting in the middle of two people who have so greatly impacted my world. They are both extremely different people.

First up... Gina. What can I say about Gina? She's taught me so much in the last year, which is a little strange because I'm older then her and should probably be teaching her. But Gina has impacted my world. She's taught me some pretty amazing life lessons. Gina has taught me to find joy in moments that are just absolutely crazy. Like

a few weeks ago when she had a TERRIBLE day, like everything that could go wrong did, Gina still smiled and kept going. She's reminded me of some pretty crazy dreams I dreamt while I was in college and helped me remember that its ok to dream something crazy. She's reminded me that laughter truly is the best medicine. She's helped me to see that being girly is way more then ok, and actually really fun. She's encouraged me in so many ways... probably WAYYY more then she will ever know or realize. I am so

thankful that Gina has become a part of my world.

And now Mary. I've known Mary for like 11 years. My senior y

ear of high school Mary was my sunday school teacher. She poured into my life from the moment she began teaching my class. From things like praying with me about my college choice to praying through situations I was facing to encouraging me to make a list, Mary always gave me good Godly counsel. She checked in on me while I was in college and always had something encouraging to say. Every conversation I have ever had with Mary has left me thinking, and left me with the feeling of being able to accomplish great things for God. Watching her with her husband and children and the way she loves our church encourages me to want to do better at the things I do. Mary is an incredible woman and I am honored to consider her a friend.

I have been so blessed with some really awesome people in my life. I am really thankful for the amazing people God has blessed me with. Really glad I got to spend time with some awesome people tonight! =)

Fears and Dreams....

So today Pastor Josh (our campus pastor at our Babylon site) and I were talking about this awesome group called... To Write On Her Arms With Love. As we talked about it I thought... wow... what an amazing group. Josh told me about this new part of their campaign that they are doing that's called Fears and Dreams. I had to of course look itup and check it out for myself. As I read some of the Fears and Dreams others had posted about I realized that Fears and Dreams are pretty normal to have. And thenmymind became FLOODED with thoughts, things I am terrified to admit scare me andthings I am mortified to say I dream of. Once you tell someone you dream of something its almost like a slap in the face if it doesn't happen or a huge let down... so its scary to admit your dreams. And its tough to admit your fears. But apparently the last few months of my life have been all about stretching and growing so here goes (three i'm willing to share)...

FEARS...

1- Being alone (in life... not ever getting married or having a family)

2- Loosing the people I love

3- Letting someone really love me (you know in that i wanna marry you way- you know like Corey and Tapanga... yeah I went there- got joke a little in the serious moment)

DREAMS...

1- To become a wife (seems a little contradictory b/c of my fears)

2- To be a mother and raise a family with a good God fearing husband

3- To live up to the potential that God sees in me (#FRP baby)

They may not be the worst fears in the world and they may not be the biggest dreams any one has ever dreamt but they're mine... and now they're out there on the internet for all to see.... wow... i guess thats not a fear!

As I sat and thought about fears and dreams today I realized that no matter what I fear my God is bigger and the same it true for even my craziest of dreams. But as I thought I was reminded of a night mare I used to have. Now if you know me really well this dream makes even more sense....

From the time I was five till I was probably like 21 I had this repeating nightmare. I was a child in feety pajamas and I was walking up the steps of the house I grew up in and all of the sudden these monsters started chasing me, they all had the same face and were really scary. I would run and run and run but I could never get away and the monster would always get me. I would wake up sweating and crying every time I had the dream which unfortunately happened often. It was so real and felt like it was actually happening... this brought about me often sleeping with a bat or some sort of object that could be used as a weapon incase the dream became a reality.

My senior year in bible college I had the same exact dream... it was terrifying... until the end. The end was different. I was still a little girl in feety pajamas being chased by scary monsters but just as they were about to attack me these men came out with lightsabers and swords and crazy weapons to protect me. I noticed some of the faces... guys I went to school with, pastors of mine, friends from childhood, my dad... these men attacked the monsters and defeated them. Then they each hugged me and one of them just stood right by my side and let me cry... his face was blurry but his eyes wereclear, they were warm and loving.

My point is... that nightmare had so much power in my life. I was terrified to close my eyes some nights. I didn't want to have that dream, it felt too real and it was scary. But the alternative ending dream... I'd love to have that one EVERY night. Thing is some times our fears get the best of us and we never realize that there could be something different and something better. We don't see that the best is yet to come and that there is so much more to live for. We get so caught up in the fears and allow them to become our reality that we miss out on ever even thinking about a dream.

Well... tonight... I'm gonna dream... I'm gonna lay my head on my pillow and believe God is going to allow me to dream some AMAZING dreams... not just the goals I have but the desires deep within my heart. I'm gonna believe... even if only for tonight that those dreams can and will become a reality. I'm gonna be more imaginative then Walt Disney because my maker made me with big eyes and a tender heart. And if for some reason tomorrow my fears drag me down one way or another, I'll have had tonight, but I pray that I will cling to those dreams and believe for the realities that can be.

9/7/2011

At 9:17pm on September 7th I came into the world. The third child in my family and the only girl. My daddy named me Katherine after his favorite actress (Katharine Hepurn). I got my middle name from my mom... we share it... Rose. My big brotherswelcomed me into the world and taught me the ropes (some lessons were easier learned then others). I was born on the 7th as the 7th grandchild on both sides of my family... 7 happens to be my favorite number... random fact I KNOW you just could NOT live without.

So today was apparently my birthday! My friend Ally came down from RI to spend the day with me which was so nice. I love spending time with friends.

Heres a look at the birthday fun...

First up... first day of school for the younger siblings... so I woke up at 6:30 am. Mostly because I heard them getting ready but also because I wanted to see them off to school. They got dressed in their new school clothes, ate breakfast, grabbed their backpacks and headed out the door. So weird to see them heading out the door for 8th and 10thgrade... they are getting so big so fast. Love my little sisters and I am so proud of who they are becoming.

Then a little TV time... why wake up early if you're not gonna hit up classics like Boy Meets World.

Eventually it was time to get ready and head to staff meeting... honestly who better to spend part of the day with then some of my FAVORITE people. I really and truly love our team. It's an honor to get to work with each and every one of them. I love getting to hear their hearts and talk about ways to help our church and each other grow. I am beyond blessed to get to call the team I work with my friends.

After Ally and I went out for lunch... ON THE BOARDER..... gotta love the Mexicans... so yummy! No seriously it was really good. Even better then the food, just hanging out with one of my close friends talking about life and dreams and random silly things like how girly I truly am (popular topic lately) was amazing.

IKEA... what trip to the Hicksville mall would be complete without a stop in IKEA... prefect rainy day activity. We walked through the whole store saying silly things like "when I grow up" or "is it weird that I get excited to think about cooking for my family and them sitting at the counter"... yup without a doubt some girl time.

No trip to NY would be complete without RALPHS, pizza, a bagel run and the bakery.... yupp we hit it all up so Ally could go home fully loaded... insuring that I would need to do an extra couple of sets of something to burn off all the crap I consumed today... oh calories why are you so loaded? No really though... we NYers have amazing foodage. Leave NY for a little while and then come back and you willTOTALLY understand.

Went to Target... b/c thats what Ally and I do! Had some Starbucks b/c their passion tea lemon aid is addicting. Enjoyed the company of family and friends. Got my cell phone blown up with texts and facebook notifications. Watched Friends =) Blew out candles and made a wish. Enjoyed knowing that this year will be great just because of how it has started out. Loved knowing that He who kept me in the past also holds my future and that my latter will certainly be greater than my past. Yup all in all I'd say it was a pretty FRP 9/7 =)

Boots and Brownies...

7 too early AM this morning I was greeted by and ADORABLE 2.5 year old singing "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" It was a day early and unexpected but it was awesome non the less. My little buddy Liam sang me happy birthday off and on all day. It was so cute. How'd we celebrate? I knew you'd want to know! Liam and I put on his rain boots and headed outside. We found some crazy awesome puddles and we splashed like no bodies business. Then we hit the playground where the cool twistie blue slide turned into a water slide. Yeahhhhh Buddy!!! So much fun! After getting completely soaked we had to change clothes and then had some snack (peanut butter and apple slices). Then the doctor, where we explored the building and rode on the elevators.... we love pushing buttons. On the way home Liam learned to FIST PUMP and bob his head to the music.... love teaching him redic things! When we got home it was time for a nap and then we baked brownies. Liam helped me blow out my candle and then we got to eat them... so yummy.

What life lesson did I pull out of today... well first off puddle jumping is fun no matter how old you are. More then that if it's gonna rain you may as well have fun with it or at try to. Instead of staying inside and being sad we made the most of the day. We jumped in puddles, we explored and we baked brownies. When it rains I tend to want to stay inside and sleep but today I was reminded of how awesome it could be if we focus on the positive and we end up having such a better day. Yeah I still dislike the rain... mostly because it messes up the ability to really go out and have fun but there are things we can only do in the rain like puddle jumping and dancing in the rain. So, when it rains... strap on those rain boots and find a big old puddle and start splashing around like nothing else matters... even if just for a few minutes to remind yourself that there is a positive in every situation.

Labor Day Lessons

Labor Day.... it never really made a lot of sense to me, but I always loved that it was aday off for most people I knew. Today I got to spend LABOR DAY with two really amazing kids and a pretty cool teenager. My pastor and his awesome wife attended a wedding while their fantastic kids and my baby sister and I hung out for the evening. It was a night filled with craziness and tons of fun. Video games with Malachi... we learned that Lego Star Wars is AWESOME. Tea party and glitter nail polishwithAbby.... she's such a girly girl! Chinese food... always a good call... gotta love fortunecookies! And what would an evening with the Bishop kids bewithoutwrestling... there was some body slamming, some climbing, some pillow chucking, and some all out crazy moves... good stuff. And then it was time to wind down and get calm so we turned on the TV and had some pjs and quiet time.

Kids have an amazing way of helping me see things. It's incredible the way they teach me things and they don't even intend to. Like today as we ate our Chinese food neither one of the kids was hesitant to try something new. We ordered something they had never tasted just because it sounded cool (we ordered food we knew they liked too), and they tasted it. They weren't afraid to try something new. I wish I was a little less afraid to try new things. But the thing they taught me that stood out tonight was... "She doesn't talk a lot when she doesn't know someone" and observation Malachi made about his sister. Yeah it was funny but it was amazing! It made me realize that some of us don't ever grow out of our quietness. I still don't talk a lot to people I don't know too well. I've been working on opening up with people but it's been easier said then done. I am however really glad that I have found some people I really feel comfortable opening up and being real with.

SUNDAY = SAWEEEEEEET

I LOVE SUNDAYS.... they are by far my favorite day of the week! I get to attend and serve at an AMAZING church which in my opinion is the BEST church ever... but I'm a little bias! We have an incredible pastor and an amazing church family. It is incredible to see how much our young church has grown over the last 3.5 years. I love seeing the lives that have been changed and getting to be a part of some of that. God is doing awesome things at the Point and it just gets better and better each week. Ourworshipteam is AMAZING and I'm not just saying that because oneof my childhood friends leads it. They are a talented group of musicians and watching then grow as a team, develop their talents and watching our worship leader develop in his leadership skills is incredible.

Today we had a special treat (not that the messages aren't AWESOME every sunday) but today our associate pastor Nick spoke for the first time ever in our new building.

In his amazing pink shirt he spoke about being WITH GOD and he quoted one of my favorite poems... Foot Prints. Such a great reminder of how NO MATTER what we walk through God is walking through it with us. I only listened to part of the sermon because I was needed else where. Which brings me to the reasons I LOVE Sundays the most. There are about 30 reasons I love SUNDAYs... (well maybe a few more but close enough). The kids of our church make Sunday even more amazing! Today our younger kids learned about the 10 commandments, they colored, made "parchment paper", sang songs, played with the parachute and enjoyed sensory bins... tons of fun. Ourolder kids learned about CHANGING the WORLD, we learned that every action we take or don't take has the potential to impact others and situations in life. Our objectwas a little gross, I volunteered for that one. Multigrain Cheerios, plastic baggie, plastic spoon and orange juice.... I didn't make the right choice by having breakfast at home so I had to make do with what I had. I poured my juice into my plastic baggie of cheerios and ate a bite.... after spitting in back in I let the kids know that oj and cereal in that way were TERRIBLE. We read a book called "The Boy Who Changed The World" by Andy Andrews and then we made pipe cleaner butterflies to remind us that even the smallest actions can make a difference.I LOVE SUNDAYS!!!!

As if the morning wasn't awesome enough... I was told to stay home this evening so that I could have dinner with my family to celebrate my birthday (a little early but not everyone will be home on my actual birthday). So we hit Applebees and had some dinner.... laughs, food, family... good times!

My parents however thought it was an absolute MUST to let the waitress know that it was my birthday... this caused a few moments of the ducked head no eye contact posture. Although it was slightly obnoxious it was really nice just spending time with my family. I probably don't mention it enough but... they are pretty great!

So YEAH I def think SUNDAY= SAWEEEEET =)

WAKOS.... but I love them ALL

For the most part Saturdays in my world start like this.... "PANCAKES!?!!?" either from the kid who sleeps on my futon or a text from my older brother. I whip up a minimum of two batches of pancakes (one with chocolate chips and one with whitechocolate chips) and then my amazing family consumes them.

The rest of the day isn't always as predictable. Today my wakadoo family went shopping. Ok now my family IS NOT NORMAL!!!!! We can't go to Old Navy without one of my siblings posing with the manikins. Why would today have been any different? My baby sister and my older brother decided to pose with a family of manikins like they were part of their family.

NEVER A DULL MOMENT with these birds around. I found a super cool hat that I almost bought... I was later told that a friend would have beat me up if I bought it.... I guess it was a good thing I decided against it.

And then I dropped my Mom and sister's off a my baby sister's life long friends house. The rest of the ride home while laughing at my brother my thoughts shifted to people. I have become increasingly aware of how AMAZINGLY blessed I am with some pretty amazing people in my life.

First up my biological family... immediate and extended... I have been blessed with some awesome siblings, great parents, aunts uncles and cousins who are so great, grandparents who love(d) me.... not everyone gets all that... I'm pretty lucky.

Life long friends... not too many people have known their friends for 20+ years and usually your relationships like that deteriorate with time but some of mine have just grown and become even better... so thankful for my life long friends who continue to amaze me with how much they truly care about me.

"College friends".... I went away to school and built friendships with people during college and post college and many of those bonds are still super tight.... I am beyond blessed by my friend I met during that time.

New friends.... I have been given the opportunity to get to know some AMAZING people within the last few years and each new friend has helped me learn something new about me... esp my new female friends... they really bring out the girlie girl in me... I hear its a good thing so I'll just go with it!

People who speak into my life.... I have had some pretty awesome people, pastors, leaders, parents who have just simply loved me though situations. They have helpedme see things that I never realized were possible in my life. They have payed me some high compliments and helped me believe that God has an AMAZING plan for me. So thankful for those people!

Church family... new and old, this church and any other church I've been given the opportunity to attend... I have been so beyond blessed by the people who just pull you in and allow you to be a part of their world and their family.

My WAKOS are just geneticly connected to me.... I mean I love them too but I love all the WAKOS who have made my life even more amazing so tonight I am thankful for the people who have come into my life and left a huge IMPRINT on me!