9.5 and it still hurts...

Became pretty frustrated tonight. My thirteen year old baby sis/ mini me got upset and said it was because I don't spend time with her. REALLY kid?!?!?! Honestly 8 times out of 10 if I am going somewhere other then work I take her with me, so that couldn't be further from the truth. Sometimes though when we say one thing is bothering us rather then saying what is really bothering us. Sometimes the thing that is really bothering us is too hard to talk about so we blame something else. Sometimes we're embarrassed by what is affecting us so we say its something different. Sometimes we choke on the words and end up crying instead. Sometimes being 13 means being an emotional mess.

Tonight that's for sure what it meant! This kid makes me smile so much and I love her to pieces but some days she's a 13 year old HOT MESS!!!! Tonight however she brought me to tears. As she tried to figure out how to communicate what was wrong with her she cried which only made me want to cry even more. With tears in her eyes she told me the real reason she was upset.... (brace yourself and maybe grab a tissue)... she told me she was sad because she missed Grandma.

My grandmother died nine and a half years ago and it still hurts, I still miss her. You seemy grandmother was one of the most encouraging women in the world. She made me believe I could do ANYTHING. She taught me how to do things like, make a bed and put on lipstick. When I was little she would take me for walks in the park and just talk to me while we walked. She used to cook the best meatballs among other amazing things. She was the greatest grandmother and she made such a difference in my life. I know I would not be any where near the person I am today if I wasn't influenced by her. She believed in me and I always felt loved when she was around. My grandmother had a special way of making people feel valued... and motivating people to do what they need to or should be doing.

So tonight as I think back on amazing moments with my grandmother and the moments she inspired me to do greater I pray that God would flood the minds of my family members who still often miss here with great memories and our hearts with peace.