Fireweed Moments: Punch Me in the FACE....

Tonight my AMAZING friend "MB" pointed something out to me as she and I were texting. She said to me.... "hahahahahaha if 'you' nine years ago could see 'you' now." I thought about it for a few seconds and realized wow... I really have changed. My response was "she'd punch the real me in the face!"

Here are some reasons me 9 years ago would punch the me today in the face....

1- I get my nails did!

2- I straighten my hair (sometimes)

3- I blow dry my hair (sometimes)

4- I get mad when I break a nail (and not just b/c it hurts)

5- I like to cook

6- I enjoy baking (and not b/c i want to eat it)

7- I eat healthier

8- I cry openly (wayyyy more then I used to)

9- I match my socks with my shirt

10- I match in general

11- I wear nicer girly jeans (and not sweats ALL the time)

12- I wear jewelry

13- I get my eyebrows done

14- I have pretty (not old lady) flowery sheets on my bed

15- I get frustrated that my glasses don't match all of my clothing

16- I get a little embarrassed that I have to wear glasses

17- I sing in the car.... really loudly

18- I dance in the car... sillily all by myself

19- I smile a whole lot more then I ever did

20- I own pink clothing and actually wear it

21- I think about the future with an actual expectation of wanting something great to happen.

22- I draw hearts and flowers on things

23- I'm a lot more honest about my feelings

24- I actually enjoy hugging people and being hugged in return

25- I watch snuggle with a batman pillow (no wait me then would have liked that one)

26- I blog

27- I like receiving flowers

28- I have a flower tattoo on my foot

29- I clean my car and my room all the time

30- I enjoy jogging and exercising (even though i played sports I was lazy)

31- I journal

32- I actually TALK on the phone (with a handful of people)

and there are probably 3BILLION other reasons I would punch me in the face... but in all honesty.... The me I am today and continue to grow to be is the real me... it was just a part of me that I was afraid to let show. I was scared that not being tough would cause others to think they could hurt me. I'm realizing that even if I act tough there is still more then a possibility that I will get hurt so it's not really worth it to act tough. I was afraid to be the "real me" because I was afraid people wouldn't like me. I never wanted people to see me as anything other then a tomboy because I knew how to be that really really well and it was less risky. I was afraid if someone saw the real me it would be easier to hurt me. I never thought it was ok to be girly and like pretty things because I never thought I was worthy of that. I didn't think I was allowed to even try to feel pretty or think I could even try to pull it off. This "new me" is really tough to let shine through even though I like her... she challenges me... and I really am not a fan of being challenged =)

Pre letting the girly out... wrist guard is from punching a brick wall