Concrete Girl...

What would happen if this concrete girl just all of the sudden become a puddle? Concrete is rock solid, it's the stuff that you build things on top of because its so sturdy. It's the stuff you use to hold other things in place like steel rods in a building. It's the foundation of a house. It's not something you usually envision as a broken mess (unless of corse you are envisioning pot wholes). So what would happen if this concrete girl just fell apart? Would it be ok if I just became a puddle of nothingness?

I've always been able to hold it together outwardly even if my universe is flipped upside down and inside out. I'd rarely cry in public and I would do my best to hold it together even in private. There were moments though that I lost it... tears would flow and there would be a gross nasty snot mess to clean up after.

I'm not perfect, far from it, and I try not to give off that persona that I am perfect because I know how MESSED up I am. I know that I screw up all the time and that I hurt other people and that I am kind of a mess some times. I know that I'm not the best that I could be or even should be. I know that if I am not reminded about something I will often forget it. I know how worthless I am without God's help. I know all that. But I try so hard to hold it together and to do my best. But too often my best falls so short. Too often I'm left wondering how I didn't do that better and how I fail so miserably.

This concrete girl has had a rough day and my heart is hurting today... so today... this concrete girl is giving herself permission to be ok with falling apart a little bit. Hope the world doesn't mind but this concrete girl is going to fall into the arms of her Father where there is grace, acceptance, forgiveness, love, mercy and understanding. She's gonna let her guard down with her Daddy God and let Him put the pieces back where they need to be because she knows there is no way she can do it on her own.