The Ides of March...

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH.....

As I thought about how much time has past and how life has changed so incredibly I was filled with different emotions. I was instantly thankful as I reflected. It's been an incredible journey in my life in general. I have walked though some incredible moments. There have been times that my breathe was taken away in awe and moments where my heart dropped in absolute pain. I've seen a lot of awesome things like births, marriages, restored relationships, families growing closer together and so much more. I've also had the unfortunate honor of walking through some of lifes most difficult moments in my own life and while walking with others. It's been a CRAZY life, but it's been a good life, and it's my life... I wouldn't change the moments even the ones that were kind of crummy because they have helped shape and mold me.

THREE years of being a part of one of the coolest decisions I have made in my life. THREE year mark of me being a part of the BEST team I have ever been a part of (and that comes from a kid who played sports her whole life). THREE years of being challenged in a whole new way. THREE years of being ALLOWED to the opportunity and honor of being able to do what I LOVE getting to do. THREE years of being a part of something that I truly feel is making a difference. THREE years of being HOME!!!!

While there are things I miss about other places I've been the words to the Switch Foot Song THIS IS HOME still ring LOUD and CLEAR in my head... Now I know Yeah, this is home I've come too far And I won't go back Yeah, this is home

BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH BECAUSE YOUR WHOLE WORLD COULD CHANGE IN JUST ONE MOMENT!!!!!

Power of words...

I'm about to let out a secret that you may or may not have known... words pack A LOT of power. The power to up lift a situation or a circumstance and the power to rip someone apart.

Unfortunately I personally am not always aware of that fact. There are moments when I say things that can bring hurt and harm to others. I try to catch myself in those situations but sometimes I'm not quick enough to catch my words before they are spewed out. I find myself saying sorry for things that I say that hurt others unintentionally and wishing that I hadn't opened my mouth at all. I unfortunately cannot go back and erase that words that I've sometimes spoken about others or to others. My heart breaks at that thought. Knowing you hurt people you love with the same mouth you were always able to love and encourage with rips me apart. In moments like that I know not only did I say and do something that could hurt or affect someone I care about but that I also grieve God's heart. Fortunately for me God forgives pretty easily... I mess up a lot not just with my words but in life in general and I without a doubt need that grace and love and compassion that He shows me when I go to Him and am truly sorry for the things I have said and done. Unfortunately for me people are people and most times hurt takes time to get over. I've been on the receiving end of hurtful words and those scars are deep. Certain things people say (even if it's not the person who originally said it) trigger feelings of past hurts and I have to remind myself that forgiveness sets me free as well. This isn't really what I wanted to blog about but I guess I needed to be reminded (love when I get these gentle reminders).

What I really wanted to talk about was the POSITIVE side to the power of words. This morning I received a text from someone asking for prayer. It was a situation that their family really needed to know God was in. I stopped what I was doing and began to pray for this family and the situation they were facing. I posted on facebook "Praying for a family who is waiting on God for an answer... Lord bring peace in the waiting." People who knew the situation liked it and within moments that prayer was answered. Now I know full well that prayer doesn't always work like that and it's not always that quick but I quickly became consumed with some pretty awesome thoughts. What if that family hadn't reached out for prayer? What if people hadn't responded in prayer? What if the words we prayer weren't prayed? Would the situation have been different? See the power of words this morning was also in the power of prayer. When you allow your words to be impacted by the God who gives you enough air in your lungs to speak the words it's like your words end up having super powers.


I am incredibly thankful for the out come of that situation and equally thankful for the lesson(s) God allowed me to learn through that situation. Thankful for friends who pray and thankful that I was given the chance to be a friend who prayed, but even more then that, thankful for a God who answers prayers because that situation was an immense blessing in my world and in their lives today. So glad God knows what He is doing!

Frogs...

When I hear the word leap more often then not I think of that silly game I used to play on the playground, leap frog. It never really dawns on me that LEAP year is even happening, probably because I never understood how all of the sudden there was an extra day in a year. Really? Every four years we get a whole extra day... that's kind of a cool thought.

Here's a thought that even I didn't think too much about... what will you do with your extra 24 hours, or in this case what did you do with your extra day?

I was given an entire extra day to influence people, to make a difference in some one's life and as I reflect through out my day I have to think.. did I do that? Did anyone have a better year this year because on that extra day that we were given I made a difference? Did I go out of my way to do something kind for someone else? Was I loving toward my family? Did I treat my co-workers with respect and honor? Did I try to bridge the gap in a fractured relationship? Did I love people with the love I carry deep with in my heart because of who I say I really love (Jesus)? Did I do anything today that made today worth being an added bonus to the 2012 calendar in my life?

Sounds a little tough but, they are without a doubt questions that I have pondered today. It felt good to be able to answer most of those questions with a YES, but it also made me think and realize that just because it's an extra day doesn't mean it should be treated any different.

FEBRUARY 29th or March 23 doesn't matter what day it is, I should always strive to live so that at the end of the day the answer to ALL of those questions is... YES.

Am I going to get it right all the time... NO.. I'm human... and a screw up, but should I strive to make every day count... ABSOLUTELY.

So here's to you LEAP DAY... thanks for making me THINK a little more about how I spend my time!

Valentine's Day....

I woke up this morning... walked through my regular routine, hit the snooze a few times, get up, read my bible journal for a while, get ready, check email. Some how when I wrote the date in my journal I didn't make the connection between the 14th and it being Valentine's day. When I read an email from a really good friend who lives all the way on the other side of the world I realized... oh yeah... wow... ok. See when you've lived through more Valentine's Days single then you have with someone who has an interest in you or whatever you just treat it like any other day. I'm not bitter, angry or jealous that I don't have some amazing guy sending me flowers and chocolate or taking me out on some really great date because honestly I want THE BEST that God has for me. I feel like if I had a Valentine today (other than a joke one) today I would be settling for less than THE BEST.

You see this really smart couple once told me that Dating was BAD, and that I should pray specifically for who I want to end up with. I have no interest in aimlessly dating. No interest in picking a random guy to allow to steal a piece of my heart. No interest in having to remember a period of time in my life by who I was with. I don't want my life to revolve around any man but THE MAN that was designed perfectly for me. I don't want to deal with the broken heart that I have seen so many of my friends have to deal with. Don't get me wrong there are other things that can and will break a heart but relationship wise it doesn't have to happen. (In my opinion anyway)

There are a lot of GREAT guys out there... I know a few... some of them are truly incredible but I want the BEST not just great. See I really believe that I am someone's rib. I believe that I am intended for a specific guy and he was designed for me. That we won't complete each other but that we will enhance each others lives.

Would I like to have someone to call at the end of the day and say good night to sure. Would I love to have someone who texts me cheesy stuff during the day yupp (my boss would probably hate it if the texts distracted me). Would I love to receive daisies and chocolate... duhhh.... I am a girl! But am I ready to be who he deserves? Am I ready to be the best Valentine he could ever ask for.... probably not. There will always be growth that needs to happen in my world but I want to be the BEST for him just as much as I want him to be the BEST for me.

So until then I will choose to be the girl in waiting this Valentines Day and all the days to follow until HE say's I am ready for him and he is ready for me. Why settle for the best that right now has to offer when you can have GOD's BEST for your life?!?!?!

Growth Spurts....

As a former kid and someone who is around kids all the time I have experienced and watched others go through growth spurts. Growth is needed, there is NO way around that. Our bodies are no where near the same from the moment of conception we are growing and changing. Which is probably a good thing because if we all looked like that alien sack that babies look like in the womb around month 5 we'd look weird (although we'd all be used to it by now so we'd probably be ok with it). But still I'm glad we don't look like that.

Thing is growth isn't just needed in the physical aspect of the word it's also needed in the rest of life. If we never grow emotionally we would cry every time we were hungry (which some people do... I have friends who for sure get Hangry (angry b/c they are hungry)--> Thank you Josh Sepulveda for teaching me cool words). And I know I get a little (or a lot) frustrated when I get tired. But for the most part we all grow and mature emotionally. We also obviously grow physically, we get taller, our bodies change. Some times that process it painful... I remember as a kid having to take children's tylenol and motrin when I was going through growth spurts some times because it was painful. There is also spiritual growth. Sometimes that growth is rapid, sometimes it's slow, it hurts some times and at other times it's painless.

Personally I have been walking though a little bit of a spiritual growth spurt. Through things I am reading in my bible, in other books, in prayer, in conversation, in counseling, and life experiences lately God has been messing me up. It's been an intense process. Some moments have been amazing and mountain top experiences, where when I'm walking through it all I see is the amazingness around me. Some have been less epic and more heart breaking and gut wrenching. Some have ripped me up inside. Some have caused some me to need to deal with some deep rooted hurts. Some have caused me to get real quiet and sit alone for a while. Some have cause me to reach out to others for guidance, love, support, and encouragement (which every once in a while was a good swift kick in the pants). Some have brought me to tears. But most ALL of them have driven me to my knees.

I am learning that my weak knees to best when I am kneeling on them and crying out for God to step in. I'm learning that my strength is found in Christ alone. I'm learning that my heart is not as weak as I thought it was. I am learning that the promise God makes in Philippians 4:13 (msg) "I can make it through anything in the ONE who makes me who I am" is without a doubt true. I know that I can stand firm on the promises of what God has for me. I know that HE is for me. I know that no matter what I have had to live though He's got this! Scripture has been hitting me hard and impacting my life in such a positive way. Reading and praying through scriptures has been extremely impacting.

Loving this growth spurt, even though it's painful it's been good! =)

What do Cop shows have to do with real life?

I really like COP shows... you know like NCIS, CSI, NCIS LA, and PSYCH (NCIS & PSYCH being my favorites, just in case you were wondering). I love the mystery behind them, and often the humor involved especially in Psych. I enjoy trying to figure out who did what as the show goes along and I really like to laugh, so the two being put together in one situation just makes it even better.

In the last few weeks I've been reading a lot more then I used to excluding college, which I think may have robbed my joy of reading a little bit. The trouble with reading is, you learn, the trouble with learning is, you grow. See learning and growth are VERY good things but in my little world I like to see what's coming, often though, especially lately the learning and growth has been "out of left field" experiences. Life has handed me some crazy growth moments lately. Some have been really cool, some a little more painful then others, and some incredibly faith building.

At the start of this year I felt a prompting to do a Daniel Fast, a week later my pastor Todd Bishop was talking to our staff during a staff meeting and encouraging us to go on a Daniel Fast as a team and a church, it was both encouraging and scary because I knew I needed to be prepared for God to do something in my life. I committed to the fast and to a time of specific prayer. We are 18 days into that journey and it's been incredible (fasting wise it was the first 10 days). I started journaling more and praying and believing for bigger things.

So why cop shows??? Well like I said before, I really like trying to figure out what is going to happen. I enjoy the mystery and the humor (usually the humor involved in the stupidity of those who think they can get away with certain things). Not just in cop shows but also in my life I like attempting to figure out WHAT is going to happen. I like to know the what, and also the when... lets be real I like the how, the why, the who, and the where. Lets be real most people like to know what's coming at them. If a baseball bat is being beamed at your head, it's be nice to know it's coming so you have time to react.

The thing is I have been taken out of my cop show domain, which has been a little uneasy at times, but adventurous in the very same breath. I've been praying longer, journaling more, dreaming bigger, thinking broader, and believing for far more then ever before. It's been CRAZY! I feel like God is probably enjoying the Cop Show thought process that I usually have... the whole, look at this clown thinking she is going to get away with this. Not that I have been trying to get away with any thing or whatever but I feel like God is looking down and almost laughing saying... ha ha ha... watch what I can do.

Cop shows might not have a whole lot to do with real life but, I am amazed at how God helps me to see things differently now. It's crazy how He allows for certain things to happen and stuff that would otherwise be ordinary to create extraordinary moments or thought in my little world.

Circle Circle Dot Dot...

A few weeks ago Pastor Mark Batterson, author of The Circle Maker (and a bunch of other awesome books) as well as the pastor of National Community Church in DC, was at our church. Over the last few weeks I have read this amazing book and got the chance to hear Mark Batterson talk about this book and prayer in a practical real life way. Mark Batterson, it's safe to say may very well be a modern day hero of faith in my world. The guy just helps you realize that God can do so much more then we typically believe for in prayer. He challenges you to DREAM BIG... believe for the impossible, THINK LONG... don't just believe for the here and now, and PRAY HARD... don't just pray for your meals "good bread good meat good God let's eat" but pray and believe that God can and will answer prayers. Mark also talks about how to handle unanswered prayers, because lets be real sometimes we feel like our prayers haven't been answered. If you haven't read The Circle Maker or any of Mark Batterson's books... get on that!!!!!

I am so thankful for the opportunity to have been influenced by Mark Batterson. But what good is influence if you don't allow God to grow you though it? Through reading The Circle Maker and hearing Mark talk about prayer my entire prayer life has changed. The way I approach God and the things I am believing God for have completely changed. As someone who grew up in church and went to Bible College it's strange to think that my prayer life would need to change but it was without a doubt a needed change in my life. It never dawned on me to pray the promises in scripture as though they were made directly to me as well. I mean I always ready the bible and prayed and believed God could and would do great things, but I kept it general, I never got real specific. I had gotten away from journaling my prayers. So first conviction hit hard and I got real with God, then I moved passed the conviction and into the reality of what I needed to move into, or get back to in some cases.

I put my best foot forward and started a new routine... it's pretty basic but it I believe it has propelled me into something deeper. I have decided to start each morning with prayer by asking God to reveal to me what I should pray for. Then I read my bible and underline and circle some promises from God. Then I pray through those promises in my life, for the church I have to HONOR of serving at, for my family and for my friends. But I don't just say words, I write them down and I pray through, and believe for God to do something incredible in the lives and places in my world that mean so much to me. I've been asking God to reveal to me things, people and situations I should be praying for and in a separate journal I am drawing circles around those things. It feels so weird to say but I have NEVER prayed like this before. I've never been so specific and so intentional in my prayers.

As I move forward and continue to grow my prayer is that I will continually seek God for what I should be praying for, ask Him to teach me how to pray, and to be intentional with my prayers. So far so good... and I am looking forward to the amazing things God has in store for my life, my AMAZING church, and my family and friends.

***** Lord make me a Circle Maker!!!!!*******