Breeding Grounds....

I just hung up the phone with a friend who I got to share AMAZING news with. I was so excited about what I got to share with her. It's something we had just talked about recently and she and I both were so beyond words excited about what it going on. She told me something that helped trigger other thoughts, she reminded me that when I have those thoughts and feelings.... like when I just KNOW something amazing is going to come out of a not so awesome situation... I need to voice that. This friend inspired me to be more visibly passionate about the things I feel and believe... now that's sometimes easier said then done but after I hung up the phone I realized that the conversation between that friend and I was BREEDING GROUND..... a moment where something was birthed. I realized that passion, faith, and excitement are BREEDING GROUND for more passion, faith, and excitement to be formed. It's so crazy what happens when you share those moments and thoughts with someone else. Not only does it get you pumped but it also pumps up the other person and carries out down the line. BREEDING GROUNDS are responsible for the births of countless animals.... BREEDING GROUNDS of faith are responsible for countless moments of LIFE CHANGING events for the masses. The story of the fish and the loaves... total breeding ground for faith, seeing what God could do with so little. The story of Rahab, a woman who was a prostitute who ended up as part of Jesus' linage because she made a choice based on the passion 2 spies had... breeding ground for redemptive purpose. The bible (and life) are FILLED with BREEDING GROUNDS... moments where everything seemed pretty ordinary and usual and all of the sudden out of left field this crazy thing happens and it changes the balance of everything. Feeling pretty blessed sitting in this little office used as BREEDING GROUNDS.

AMAZED, AWED... honestly just WOW!!!!

If I can be real...

Ever do something that you knew was going to affect others? You didn't do it to intentionally hurt anyone but in the end it hurt people who you love, respect, admire, and care a lot about? Feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders because you know that you disappointed people who were expecting you to excel and all you really did was fail. You didn't even appear to rise to the challenge. In your heart you wanted to exceed it but no one ever really taught you just how important it really would be to do that thing you were challenged to do. In some ways you thought you were meeting that challenge by doing other things but you just didn't realize the importance of focusing on that one task, the one someone else would look at later and ask you reached the mark on the bar that was set for you. No ones really ever challenged you like that before so you just developed a habit of flying under the radar and now... now there's an in your face challenge to do BETTER then what you think you can do and better then what you've done in the past. Habits are good and bad but the habits that spur others on to do good things and to do better then what they are doing are ones that we should all aim for, and although I know that and try real hard to do the things I feel like I should sometimes I mess up and sometimes the human in me over takes the things that I know I can and should do. Some days I mess up, and some times a day feels more like a year.... and thats when the feeling of EPIC FAIL creeps in.... that feeling that I am failing and can't do things right. In my heart and my mind I know what God has for me and I know that I am not a failure... but somedays.. if I can be real just for a second more, sometimes I feel like an EPIC FAILURE.

Rare /Uncommon = the norm

So in my world "Rare and Uncommon" has become the norm, or what may happen. I have been the person who has hit most statistics and had some pretty strange experiences. Life seems to come at me fast and hit me pretty hard at times. As I have grown older I have realized that instead of freaking out and being negative I should look at the positive side of things.

The other day I went to the dermatologist to have a bump (Bessie) removed from my leg, nothing serious, just standard "rare and uncommon" stuff being my norm. I walk in (mid november) in my shorts and flip flops and right away doc is alarmed at the site of what is going down with my foot. An allergic reaction to the RED ink in my tattoo. She then has to give me 7 medicated shots to reduce the swelling from the ink and prescribe medical creme which I will have to apply for the next 2 weeks. I looked it up online later on (b/c google is my worst enemy) and it says "Allergic reactions are very uncommon." Yup that's right.... UNCOMMON! A friend of mine (the week prior to this when my tire blew out) said "wow, Kat, you just can't catch a break!" To the "normal" person that may be true but.... its kind of funny how things happen. Having an UNCOMMON allergic reaction to my tattoo reminded me of why I got it in the first place. It's a fireweed flower.... a flower that only grows in harsh conditions, you know like after a volcano erupts or something crazy like that.

All throughout my life there have been these moments, some funny, some crazy, and some just off the charts but all impacting. Moments where there had to be someone working on my side to make a difference and to get me where I am now (pg 23s). Times where I knew there had to be something more to this life then the craziness in front of me.

Moments have changed the events of my life, short snipits of time have forever impacted my world and its all because HIS plan was always the better plan.... so glad I turn over the blueprints and let HIM plan it out. Its been a wild ride and I am looking forward to more rare and uncommon moments becoming the norm!

The Choice Is Yours

We make the choice to love or to hurt. We decide if we are going to let people in or push them away. We pick and choose who we allow close enough to see our tears and our pain. We hide our happiness when we know others are going through tremendous amounts of sorrow and hurt. Our worlds are so easily impacted by others. Our lives seem to fall apart at times with just a simple shift of the winds. Our world views shape our reactions, our hearts break when we hear bad news, our minds explode with the thoughts that run through them all day. We're afraid to admit we can't handle it all on our own because some where in this journey we learned that asking for help isn't ok. When the tears start to flow we apologize of hide our faces because for some reason crying about things is no longer allowed. We are beings who were created to feel and were given such strong emotions and yet we some how think it is wrong to express those emotions or feelings because of what others may say or think. We all do at least one of these things, we all feel, we all love, we all hurt, we all cry, we all freak out, but so many of us feel like we're not allowed to express any of that for some reason. Someone somewhere in our lives told us we had to SHHH and not talk about the things that happen to us, in our live, around us or those moments that will forever define us be it negative or positive. Someone said it was not ok to feel what you felt, and you shouldn't talk about it because it might make other people feel weird. Someone told you you had to hold it in, you had to suck it up and deal. Someone told you to just get over it. Someone made you feel like your emotions and reactions were not justified.

Well.... that someone LIED. The creator of the universe, GOD, created you to be who you are. HE made you with all of your emotions, all of your traits (good and bad), all of your feelings, He made all of you. He knit you together in your mothers womb, He knew you before the foundations of the earth, every step was ordered. Yeah, even that one, the one that hurt so bad you're not sure you'll ever get over it, yeah He allowed that to happen.... why.... it's simple, while GOD is incredible and loving man still remains man with free will and quite honestly stupidity and we in turn weather by accident or on purpose hurt others (hurting people hurt people). The awesome thing about hurt is... it can be REDEEMED (just like those bottles & cans that you turn in to get money). God can use your hurt to positively impact the lives of others... but... you have to be willing to allow for healing. You have to "let go and let God"... surrender your hurt, your pain and yes even your desire for revenge and allow God to love you like never before sot that you can learn to love others and help them heal.

We all make choices, we all have emotions, we were all created by a loving God who wants nothing more then to see our ashes turned into beauty. The choice is yours, how will you react?

Tagging Along

So often in our society people think they deserve honor simply because of who they are or what they think they do. In our staff meeting today Pastor Todd shared a story most of us had read before. Sometimes it takes someone else pointing it out to you for you to see something that's staring you right in the face. Pastor Todd shared Esther 4 with us. Esther is one of my favorite books in the bible because it's all about this UNLIKELY female raising up and making a huge difference.

But today I learned something new. Esther had always looked to Mordecai for direction, whatever he encouraged her to do she did. But Esther goes from this common girl in her village to the wife of the king. She is all of the sudden in this place of power. Mordecai now goes to Esther for help/ advice because his people are being threatened, their lives, their race, their linage is in danger because some guy who thought he deserved the honor just because of his position got angry when Mordecai would not bow to him. He thought he deserved honor because of his position in leadership, and so he convinced the king to sign a decree that all Jews would be killed (without the king really knowing thats what he was signing). Esther tells Mordecai what to do and then... then it happens the real reason to be honored.

Esther 4: 15 & 16... Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: “Go and gather together all the Jews of Susa and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. My maids and I will do the same. And then, though it is against the law, I will go in to see the king. If I must die, I must die.” Esther was willing to die, to sacrifice EVERYTHING for the people she loved, the thing she was passionate about. Esther was committed to what needed to be accomplished and in the end she was honored for it. Because Esther was willing to sacrifice and was willing to give her everything for the cause she was honored. She was not only given an audience with the king but her request was granted.

Things like that were unheard of, queens were killed for going near the king without being asked to do so, but Esther was willing to risk it all for the passion she had. Honor follows commitment so don't just tag along to your title and authority and expect honor, work for honor with your commitment.

One Step At A Time

Five years and 5 months and 2 weeks ago I became a Bible College graduate. Today I met with my district presbyter for step one to receiving my license to preach. It's been a long time coming but it's something I have felt like I was supposed to do with my life since I was 15. This meeting today was 12 years in the making but I didn't realize just how much I wanted to pursue this until last night as I was finishing up the paper work I needed to hand in today. I stopped filling it out and left blanks because I was all of the sudden aware of the fact that this dream was only a few short steps away from being realized and yet those few short steps feel so very far away... one small step for man one giant leap for man kind.... yeah it won't affect man kind but it will affect my world ever so slightly. As I prepare to take this seemingly small step and stride toward a goal I pray God give me the wisdom, grace and strength to make choices that will be needed, pass tests and get through meetings. I pray that intimidation and fear would not be a factor and that my pass would be an asset rather than a hinderance. One step at a time I am walking this walk and following this dream! One step at a time!

Tolerance VS Respect

Tolerance--- when is enough, enough? Sometimes you have to call it quits and stand up even if you're in an undertow-- it might be hard but sometimes tolerance can be ones worst enemy

Tolerance is defined as....a fair, objective, and permissive attitude

toward those whose opinions, practices, race, religion, nationality, etc. In theory tolerance is something that seems amazing and fair but where do you draw the line? When is it time to call it quits?

Personally I feel like the line between tolerance and respect have been blurred. Respect meaning to show regard or consideration for. I think you can be respectful to other people's beliefs, thoughts, race, nationality, and other such things without becoming so complacent in your own personal convictions. Tolerance often leaves room for too much to be permitted.

Being respectful in my opinion is important in order to be a "good person" but being tolerant is not, being tolerant in my opinion leads very easily to complacency.