Ever do something that you knew was going to affect others? You didn't do it to intentionally hurt anyone but in the end it hurt people who you love, respect, admire, and care a lot about? Feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders because you know that you disappointed people who were expecting you to excel and all you really did was fail. You didn't even appear to rise to the challenge. In your heart you wanted to exceed it but no one ever really taught you just how important it really would be to do that thing you were challenged to do. In some ways you thought you were meeting that challenge by doing other things but you just didn't realize the importance of focusing on that one task, the one someone else would look at later and ask you reached the mark on the bar that was set for you. No ones really ever challenged you like that before so you just developed a habit of flying under the radar and now... now there's an in your face challenge to do BETTER then what you think you can do and better then what you've done in the past. Habits are good and bad but the habits that spur others on to do good things and to do better then what they are doing are ones that we should all aim for, and although I know that and try real hard to do the things I feel like I should sometimes I mess up and sometimes the human in me over takes the things that I know I can and should do. Some days I mess up, and some times a day feels more like a year.... and thats when the feeling of EPIC FAIL creeps in.... that feeling that I am failing and can't do things right. In my heart and my mind I know what God has for me and I know that I am not a failure... but somedays.. if I can be real just for a second more, sometimes I feel like an EPIC FAILURE.
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