Cinderella's Song....

Last night before I went to sleep I wrote down a very specific prayer in my journal.... "Lord  I know that your word is true and that you keep your promises, before I go to bed I am asking you, reveal your plans for my life.  Lord give me dreams tonight about the plans you have for my life.  Cause me when I wake up in the morning to know and remember what you've shown me."  


Before I fell asleep around 1 am I wanted to be sure that I asked God to use my resting time to just show me what He has in store for my life.  I know that might sound a little flaky to some people and impossible to others, but I just felt impressed to pray that before I went to bed last night (early this morning).  


Well at 4 am that prayer (along with some other prayers from the last week) was/were answered. I don't think I ever doubted that they would be answered I am just always simply amazed at how timely and how precisely God seems to answer prayers.  Even when the answer is NOT what I expect the answer always works out in my favor in the long run.  When I woke up I used the light from my cell phone and began to journal the things that were on my mind, the dream(s) I had felt like God reminded me of/ gave me... 12 pages later I stopped and just reflected in awe for a few minutes.  Then I opened my bible app on my phone and read a passage (2 Samuel 9) and was blown away at how the two tied so well together.  


I don't believe in coincidences, I do believe in GODincidences though.  The journaling and the bible reading sparked a little online research for things I NEVER thought I would be interested in and some things that I forgot I had some passion for.  And then I was reminded of my mini's favorite movie... Cinderella... what a story... forgotten, underestimated, low self esteem, and a whole lot more going against her but she was destined for greatness... (I can relate).  She never stopped dreaming though...  




"A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true" 





Thing is though... I don't think you have to simply have faith in your dreams... I believe you have to have faith in the dream giver.  It's been a long time since I have dreamed dreams like the one I just journaled about.  I know dreams don't come true without some kind of adversity but I also know that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and more importantly that I have the "dream giver" in my corner.  




So here's to #uglyearly updates!!!!!! 

Constant....

Over the last few days I have had some great talks with some "old friends."  People whom I have come to love, respect and admire.  A few of them were college friends of mine, some I met while I was away at school, and some I have had the honor of knowing for a really long time.  In each conversations there were some tears, some moments that made me smile, but ALWAYS constant words of encouragement.  Now I'm a little bit like a puppy dog for anyone who has known me for more then like 5 seconds you would know that's true.  I'm pretty much loyal to the core (unless you've hurt me real bad and then I tend to nip at you, but I'm pretty forgiving and usually get over it).  I like to just "hang out," you're going for a walk, ok cool I'll keep you company, you're having a random car dance party (only a few people have been blessed to be a part of that) I want to join in, you need someone to just keep you company I'm there, you need a listening ear you got it.  You say nice and encouraging things to me and I get pretty excited, makes me feel like you care and you appreciate me.  You ignore me and I kind of want to pee on your shoe, unless of course I was sleeping then I would prefer that you ignore me (sometimes I need a little space).  See I'm kind of like a puppy!  Puppies are pretty constant, you know you can depend on them to be your best friend when you need it.  I got a dog almost two years ago, she's great, lazy, loyal and listens real well.  Sometimes I talk out my problems with her, thing is though, she doesn't give really great advice.  The great thing about the people I have been so beyond blessed to speak with this week is, they all had great things to say, encouraging, uplifting, loving (they get that I am kind of like a puppy).  One friend encouraged me to read, to her I say, thank you for valuing my growth.  One friend encouraged me to take some time to just be me, to that friend I say thank you for seeing me and knowing that sometimes I just need a few minutes.  One friend encouraged me to embrace things that I love to do, to that friend I wanted to say thank you for reminding me that it's ok to not do everything but to focus on what I love.  But all of them encouraged me to do two things, PRAY and TRUST.  You never know what twists and turns are going to pop out on this journey of life but one thing I know and understand is that not only is it nice to have friends and family who are constant in their love and support but it is so much easier to walk this journey when you walk it knowing that the one you talk to the most and trust in more then anything has your back and is more constant then the characteristics of a puppy and He fights for you like a lion would his cub (a little Muffasa/ Simba action right there).  Constant.... I am remaining confident in the creator who is so constant.

Never Question Honor...

There has been a lot in my life that has resulted in me really wanting to ask the "What Ifs" or "Why me" questions.  This morning as I read my pastor's blog, www.toddbishop.tv I was reminded of the importance of certain questions.  I've always enjoyed being around kiddos, they make me laugh, their so creative, and they have a desire to learn (among a few of my favorite things about them).  I can deal without the boogies and the sticky jelly hands oh and for sure without the farting on command (Special Thanks to a certain almost 8yr old PK... Malachi- thanks for teaching me the power of the stench).  But the one thing I have always appreciated about kids is the way they constantly ask questions form the WHYs all the time just because to the most knowledge and truth seeking questions I have heard like wanting to know more about the word redemption.  I've been given the AMAZING honor to pastor the children at the Point Church for the last 2 years and working with them for about 3 years and I must say I think I have learned more from them over the last few years then I have taught them.  I've learned that faith really is simple.  I have learned that loving your neighbor makes your life greater.  I have learned that there is no greater joy then serving God with your whole heart and I have learned that God loves me no matter what.  Now some of that I already knew... but the way kids approach things puts stuff in to a whole new perspective.  I cannot begin to unfold the honor it has been to learn, lead and love the kiddos I have been granted the opportunity to serve.  But that opportunity would not have come if a crazy formerly hickish youth pastor had not stepped into my world a little over 12 years ago.  My pastor Todd Bishop is one of the most amazing, genuine, compassionate men I have ever had the opportunity to learn, grow, and serve with.  When others didn't even seem to see me this man and his AMAZING wife Mary saw the potential God had in me.  He refuse to let me just be an "average joe" kind of kid, he knew there was more to my future then that.  I didn't see it and sometime truthfully now I have trouble seeing it, but I know that my pastor and his wife believe in me.  I know that this guy who saw something in me 12 year ago still sees something in me now... he sees potential.  We have this catch phrase at our church.... UNLEASHING YOUR FULL REDEMPTIVE POTENTIAL #FRP.  It means that we believe God is taking you FROM something, through something and ultimately to something.  The from and the through are not always exciting but the to is what you need to have hope in.  It's a lot easier to have hope in something when you have amazing people in your corner.  And while I may really want to ask the questions of the who, what, where, when why and how.... I know that it is more important to learn from the moments and experiences.  Asking questions is great but being prepared to learn is essential.  Today I just wanted to publicly put it out there that I am HONORED to know Todd and Mary Bishop for as long as I have and I am BLESSED to be allowed to serve with them and to be able to call them not just friends and my pastor but FAMILY.  So much love and respect for the Bishops, I probably would not have made it this far in the journey without them investing in me.  Love you both and HONORED to have you in my life.

conjoined....

So my cousin posted a status on Facebook tonight... "just found out my maternal grandmother was a conjoined twin" (or something along those lines).  I commented on the post since she happens to have been my grandmother as well.  See our grandmother was born in 1931, was a conjoined twin and her parents had to choose.  My great grandmother was just glad that they were here and that one would be a healthy baby so my great grandfather had to choose.  My grandmother Georgia-Bell and her brother were connected at the head (from what I've been told) so their parents had to pick one of them, they shared a brain so there was no way they could both survive.  Now I'm not the greatest of history buffs but I am pretty sure that in 1931 having a son was more profitable for a family, being that men are typically stronger and at that point were with out a doubt at that point considered the bread winners in families, so choosing the girl seems a little abnormal, but then again that sounds like my family and without a doubt my life.

I won't sit here and pretend that I was the tightest with my grandmother she had a few strokes and had a rough time with communication for most of my life and we lived like 8 hours away from her.  But I do know that her dad made a choice that altered the course of my family's history.  Because my grandfather decided to pick his little girl I have the most amazing dad in the world and I have life.  His choice cause my family to be able to exist.  I could not imagine having to make the choice that he made but my world wouldn't even exist it he had no made that choice.

Over the last few weeks I have been thinking... "am I really meant to do all this???" "is there purpose to my life???"... I mean I know that I am called.. chosen and set apart but some times I need a friendly reminder... and well.. today I was blown away by the thought that a choice... NOT an easy one... was made 81 years ago that forever altered history.  Great grandpa... I know you'll never read this but thank you for making the hardest choice ever... I can't help but think and believe that you had strong faith in God to know that it would all work out.

Called... Chosen... Set Apart

A few weeks ago I was in the office and I was attempting to dial the phone 5 attempts later of dialing the wrong number and skipping numbers I finally called the place I was trying to call.  (Sometimes I have blonde moments...)  As my office buddy and I laughed at how silly I was with my inability to dial a phone I thought back to how this whole journey at the Point Church started for me... not so much the interview process and how I KNEW beyond the shadow of a doubt that this is where I needed to be.  I was prepared to sacrifice whatever was needed because I knew what I was called to do.

Called... what do I mean???  Well... when I was a kid I went through some pretty horrific experiences and I felt like life was probably not really worth living let a lone trying to succeed in.  I felt like I was useless and that there was NO way I was ever going to amount to anything.  I felt like I did the first 5 times I dialed that number... pretty foolish.  Foolish because I had messed up so badly, because things were so far out of my control and so far out of reach for me.  There was no way I was ever going to get that number right so why bother trying to make the call.

I didn't come from a family who had great wealth, or even the best of relationships all the time.  I wasn't the smartest kid in my class all the time.  I didn't have the most athletic ability.  I wasn't a kid that stood out above the rest.  There was nothing that made me special in the typical way the world would look at someone and think, oh what yeah that kid is going to do something great.

At a youth retreat one year I felt like the internal phone in head was ringing and that it was being said to me that there was something more for my life, but as I looked at my life I thought.. there's NO WAY.  Like I said I am not the most intellectual but the last time I checked... Called did NOT mean qualified.... chosen did NOT mean perfect and set apart did NOT mean typical.  So I guess not being qualified, perfect or typical kind of worked for me for once.

Phones ring around me all the time, I have to make calls constantly but no CALL has ever had such significance, such meaning, such appeal to me as the one I got that night at a youth retreat.... so here's to not being qualified... heres to not being perfect and here's to not being typical.

Just like that fireweed tattoo on my left foot I will continue to rise above the negative situations... I will continue to grow in HOPE, Faith and LOVE.. and I will keep close to my heart the call that was placed there about 12 years ago.

HOPE....

This month the elementary age kids at The Point Church are talking about HOPE. This past week as we introduced the new topic we talked about the fact that whatever happens we should remember what Jesus promised.

Hope isn't just that word we casually say like.. I hope you have a great day or I hope you feel better soon or I hope I get that new video game. It's so much more then that.

If anyone has ever worked with elementary age kids there may be moments when you have found yourself thinking... I hope they sit still, I hope they listen, I hope they keep their hands to themselves, I hope they get something out of todays lesson. Well... the hope we are starting to talk about is so much deeper then even all of that.

As I taught last week some of those I hope thoughts popped into my head, a high energy weekend before spring break tends to bring on those moments. It wasn't until yesterday when I really realized what exactly that HOPE truly means.

I was heading home from a VERY long day. I was tired and thinking through some things but got caught in a thought, I found myself praying "God help me to use my story more often to impact the lives of others in a positive way..." (something along those lines) The next thing I know I am receiving a text from a friend who had just gotten some rough news. As I listened to her I was quickly reminded of what I had just prayed (legit like 5 minutes (if that) before hand). We talked for like 45 minutes and as we spoke I shared my story of HOPE. I told my friend about my "bad" situations that God some how has flipped and cause them to be "good" and in those moments we went from sadness and tears to smiles and laughter.

Hope doesn't mean that the moments of pain aren't going to come into our worlds it just means that we trust God enough to HOLD on to Him in those moments.

I love what I GET to do. Teaching kids and helping them discover things about who God is and what His plan is for them is such an AMAZING task, it's an HONOR. It's something I don't take lightly and something that brings me more joy then I ever could have imagined.

So what am I learning... I am learning that kids teach me just as much as I teach them and sometimes more, and that life lessons come when I am willing to learn and be taught.

A dad who prays..

A few months ago we had the honor of having the author of The Circle Maker, Mark Batterson join us at our church. Pastor Mark talked about his new book and the power of prayer. It was in incredible time, it was one of those moments though when you may not realize the power and potential of the influence until later on. In preparation for Pastor Mark I read the AMAZING book he wrote. While I was reading it one day my dad asked me if he could borrow my copy when I was done. I surprisingly had a second copy of the book, I gave it to my dad around 10pm... by 3pm the next day my dad had read the book from cover to cover and was quoting things left and right to me. I was pretty impressed, partly because of how quickly he read it, but more so because of how much it impacted him so deeply.

The Circle Maker is all about prayer, it's believing that your prayers are going to, can and will make a difference in your own life, in the lives of others and even in the most impossible of situations. If you're not willing to put the principles into practice The Circle Maker is just a book with some pretty cool stories. I fortunately have a dad who prays. My dad prays for his family, others, and situations that he nor anyone else other than God could really do something about.

Last Tuesday morning my families mini van got stolen from right out in front of our house. It left our family feeling pretty violated and it made it so that my car was the only car left for transportation for the house hold. Due to our crazy and busy schedules I wasn't all that much help and my car only fits 4-5 people (there's 7 of us). But, my dad is a praying dad... which encouraged the rest of us to pray and believe for something. My entire household (along with some Facebook & Twitter friends) began to pray and believe that God could and would do something to change our situation. My dad lost an entire week of work because he didn't have his car (which he needs for work), that was a major bummer. But God is faithful... and we decided to trust in Him. We were slightly discouraged by Saturday realizing that without our mini van transportation for things was going to become increasingly more difficult, but we kept circling and believing. My dad went outside and walked and prayed circles believing that God had something in store for our family.

Around 9pm Saturday my brother asked me to move my car out of the drive way, I wasn't really sure why and then I went outside. Sitting in the very spot our mini van was stolen from was a conversion van. I walked over to my dad and the man driving the car and listened to the conversation and was BLOWN away by what was happening. This guy hands my dad the keys and says "you cannot be without a car." So as we sat in the van reflecting on how amazing God is I watch my praying father tear up, I was baffled at how awesome God was to my family in this situation and in so many others.

The best part of the story is without a doubt the fact that the man who gave the keys to my father is now more than likely joining our family for Easter. The thought of being beyond blessed with this amazing gift God brought into our lives is one thing but knowing that this extremely frustrating situation brought about some pretty incredible life changing moments is even more incredible. (PS... Point People, the man who handed my dad the keys to the car was written on the door of influence a few weeks ago... SO don't loose hope and keep praying for the names you wrote on the door)

I am so incredibly thankful for my dad who prays. His faith and belief has inspired my family to believe a little bigger and to open our hearts and minds to the fact that sometimes a not so awesome situation can be used to bring about AMAZING moments that draw people back to or to God.

This is what God blessed my family with... this is what sitting inside of an answered prayer circle looks like...