Right foot, Right foot, Left foot, Right...

When I was younger I really enjoyed reading Dr. Suess books, they were just challenging enough to make me feel smart and they were always pretty comical.  Not gonna lie I still like reading Dr. Suess books.  I mean who doesn't enjoy some made up words, characters like the Cat in the Hat and the Whos?  Two of my favorites are "The Places You'll Go" (which my sister in law got me when I graduated High School) and the "Foot Book" because I still as an adult cannot tell my right from my left at times (true story).  The foot book involves taking lots of steps as does the places you'll go.  There's some mystery in both as to where the steps will lead... which seems to be so fitting for my life right now.

I've stepped up my reading game a bit and now I read adult people books... weird to think I actually read as sort of a hobby now but hey, "leaders are learners", or so that's what they tell me.  I picked up a book that I've probably owned for about 2 years, it had been sitting on my shelf for a while unread.  Oddly enough I know the guy who wrote the book and he's said a bunch of times that he prays that the people who read his books will read them at the "right time" in their lives.  My current read is Wild Goose Chase by Mark Batterson.  He's written a few really great books and he's a pretty amazing speaker too but DO NOT read this book unless you are prepared to be MESSED UP (in a good way).  I've been slow reading Wild Goose Chase because I want to digest everything it has to say.  My world has been flipped upside down in the last month or so and this read has been so timely.

This past Saturday I read a portion of Wild Goose Chase that talked about Moses and his staff.  His staff was part of his identity, part of his security, it sort of help define who he was.  Batterson at one point in the chapter asks a series of questions..."Has God ever called you to throw something down?  Something in which you find your security or put your identity?  It's awfully hard to let go, isn't it?  It feels like you are jeopardizing your future.  And it feels like you could loose what is most important to you.  But that is when you discover who you really are."  My heart began to beat just a little bit faster and I instantly put the book down and started to journal.  (Big surprise there I'm sure... I like to write things down and look back on them.)  Batterson wraps up the chapter with this statement... "Throw down your staff, come out of the cage, and discover the adventure on the far side of routine."

The very next day I was in church and the time had come... it was time for a Moses moment in my life.  So I took off my shoes (and put some socks on... the AC makes my feet cold), and prepared to throw down my "staff."  I followed my routine of getting things all set up in KidCity and began to get ready to teach.  I was given instructions on how the day would go, I started my morning with the kiddos like any other Sunday and then I handed them off to our youth pastor and joined the front row in "big church."  As I sat fighting back tears my pastor talked me up a bit (thanks for that... so much love and respect for that guy) and then he called me up to the platform.  In my socks and KidCity get up (jeans and a KC tshirt) holding in as much emotion as I could I stepped down as our church's children's pastor.  I threw down my staff and now I am trusting God to take that staff and make it a rod that He can and will use.

Right foot, Right foot, Left foot, Right.... I'm taking the next step on this Wild Goose Chase and trusting that God is leading me in the Places I'll Go!

Adventures of the WHOKNEW tribe...

Yesterday I agreed to help keep an eye on 2 of my most favorite kids in the whole wide world.... Malachi and Abby Bishop.  First up... work, Malachi did school work, Abby made some cards, and I did work work.  Then we explored the basement of our church trying to help our worship leader find something.  WHOKNEW exploring the basement for something that wasn't even there could actually be fun?  Malachi thinks we should turn the basement into a cafeteria.  Where does he come up with this stuff, it's possible that the though came about because he was hungry, because shortly after he was ready for lunch.  Chinese Food was on the menu today... WHOKNEW kids like chinese that much... they were pumped!  Abby's excitement may have been increased because she was going to be eating her lunch off of a PINK plate.  Then as I did a little more work the kiddos did a little more kiddo stuff... ipads, iphones, self recorded videos.... WHOKNEW a 3yr old and an 8yr old were so smart.  The sun was shining and the natives were getting a little restless so we made the choice to take a walk... WHOKNEW the sheer mention of a walk would spark such excitement.  We spotted this little place around the corner called sweet shop, figured there had to be something worth while in there... yupp there was... Ice Cream... I knew that would go over big, but WHOKNEW they would want to walk with their ice cream so we could continue on our grand adventure.  The kiddos lead the charge picking the directions we would walk in.  We walked past a puppet theater (3 times) and then we discovered a building.  It appeared to be a rathe old looking place and we decided to be a little daring a walk up to it to discover what it really was.  As we got closer we learned that it was a museum.  We went inside and the man allowed us to come in for free... WHOKNEW our walk would land us at a museum.  As we walked through the museum we learned about fossils, rocks, an old jail, an old school house and an old court house... WHOKNEW we'd find a random gem (literally) in the middle of Hicksville.

The WHOKNEW tribe took a random walk in a familiar place and we found a building that I've personally probably wandered past a billion times before in my life but never took the time to notice it.  The WHOKNEW tribe discovered a place right in the middle of a town that was so rich in history, from thousands of year ago and some history that was a little more recent like hundreds of year ago.  The WHOKNEW tribe taught me a few valuable lessons today...
1- You never fully know what you are surrounded by unless you take the time to notice.
2- There can be hidden gems right around you, you just have to be willing to look.
3- Adventures through a child's eyes are always worth taking.
4- Sometimes one moment, one hour, one day can trigger memories that will remind you of a lifetime ago.
5- Three year olds get a little scared of things that are unfamiliar, dark or different and people older/ more experienced need to help us/ them through those situations.
6- Ice Cream melts and asking for a cup with the cone is a wise choice.
7- Making memories with people you love is always worth the time it might take out of a busy day!

Today's adventures with the WHOKNEW tribe were amazing... and I'm looking forward to more WHOKNEW tribe adventures in life!

A NOT so TYPICAL Tuesday...

Today started off pretty regular, woke up.. not too excited to be awake, had a little QT, got showered and ready for the day and headed to the office.  (tried out my new JORDAN starbucks cup from my bff)  Sat down at my desk like any other typical Tuesday and began to write my weekly to do list.  I kind of live and die by my to do list.  I feel rather accomplished when I check things off my list.  So today's list like most Tuesdays was... write to do list, staff prayer, staff meeting, and like 5-6 other tasks (some random just to make the boss laugh, but mostly all things that "need to" get done).  So I wrote my list, printed it (so I could have the satisfaction of checking off things when they are done), sent it to my boss, and began to get things done.  Although I am HIGHLY task oriented I am also aware that there are other things like people and experiences that are more important (sorry little disclaimer action needed there).

So my boss/ pastor has us meet in a room for staff prayer (that was a little less than business as usual... inspiring and encouraging).  Then he tells us that we are going OUT of the building for our staff meeting, once we started driving I quickly figured out where we were going.  We went to a museum here on Long Island called the Cradle of Aviation.  As a closet geek I was internally PUMPED... I love museums and zoos and places like that.  As we walked around I was filled with all these different emotions and thoughts.  And as "super christian" as it sounds I began to pray, God show me something that I can apply to my life, help me to see something you want me to see.  So we walked around and I geekishly took tons of pictures on my phone and wrote notes down on my notepad on my phone.

When we first started walking around the building I was really impressed with the information a gentlemen was sharing with us about this air plane from Israel.  The plan had 4 members in the cockpit, a pilot, a co-pilot, the flight navigator and the flight engineer.  My first thought was, wow what a team... and then I focused on the word TEAM.  It wasn't a one man show, it was a team effort, and each person played a part.  I began to think about how important it was for people to have other around them that they walk through life with.  People who accompany them on the journey and share the work load.  Thank GOD for team!  The gentleman who was sharing information with us also talked to us about a piece of equipment called the sexton.  The sexton is the way they navigated before GPS, they used the sun and the stars to determine where they were going.  Amazing how even way back God had already put into place the things we needed to be able to accomplish tasks way bigger then ourselves.  Flying a plane to a destination without a GPS... wow... and a team... guess what... EL AL (the Israel airline) had the SAFEST safety record... maybe because they had a team?!?!?

But then we crossed into this part of the museum where you learn about the progression of aeronautics.   As I walked around I was awed by the things that I was seeing and learning/relearning.  But then there was this woman, and at first I think I was just impressed because of her gender, but then as I learned more about her story I was blown away.  Harriet Quimby was born to a poor farm family in the midwest, when she grew up she became a writer and then she began to explore aviation.  Quimby was the first female to fly over the English channel.  Unfortunately for her she made that flight the day after the Titanic sank, so she got little to no publicity for it.  She was also Amelia Eirheart's idol, that's who Amelia wanted to be like.  Oddly enough I wanted to be Amelia when I was a kid.  I thought she was so cool because she was doing things that "only men" should have been doing.  I always thought she was so cool.  One of Quimby's first flights was less then 1/2 mile from the house I grew up in as a kid.  So crazy to think that someone who had such an impact on aeronautics had that impact so close to the place I grew up.  (That could be a whole different blog at some point).  The take away I got from Quimby's experiences were these... 1- Dare to Dream, 2- Don't worry about who is going to recognize your accomplishments, 3- Don't give up on your dreams, and 4- Do what you love (if you can die doing it... added bonus).

A not so typical tuesday without a doubt in my little world.  I may not ALWAYS remember this day but I will forever remember the impact of changing things up so that growth, vision, passion, and inspiration are given a catalyst.  Thankful for a boss/pastor and friend who is willing to push me to grow in such subtle ways.  So much respect for him and so thankful for the influence he's been in my life.

Cinderella's Song....

Last night before I went to sleep I wrote down a very specific prayer in my journal.... "Lord  I know that your word is true and that you keep your promises, before I go to bed I am asking you, reveal your plans for my life.  Lord give me dreams tonight about the plans you have for my life.  Cause me when I wake up in the morning to know and remember what you've shown me."  


Before I fell asleep around 1 am I wanted to be sure that I asked God to use my resting time to just show me what He has in store for my life.  I know that might sound a little flaky to some people and impossible to others, but I just felt impressed to pray that before I went to bed last night (early this morning).  


Well at 4 am that prayer (along with some other prayers from the last week) was/were answered. I don't think I ever doubted that they would be answered I am just always simply amazed at how timely and how precisely God seems to answer prayers.  Even when the answer is NOT what I expect the answer always works out in my favor in the long run.  When I woke up I used the light from my cell phone and began to journal the things that were on my mind, the dream(s) I had felt like God reminded me of/ gave me... 12 pages later I stopped and just reflected in awe for a few minutes.  Then I opened my bible app on my phone and read a passage (2 Samuel 9) and was blown away at how the two tied so well together.  


I don't believe in coincidences, I do believe in GODincidences though.  The journaling and the bible reading sparked a little online research for things I NEVER thought I would be interested in and some things that I forgot I had some passion for.  And then I was reminded of my mini's favorite movie... Cinderella... what a story... forgotten, underestimated, low self esteem, and a whole lot more going against her but she was destined for greatness... (I can relate).  She never stopped dreaming though...  




"A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep
In dreams you lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for, you keep
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling thru
No matter how your heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
the dream that you wish will come true" 





Thing is though... I don't think you have to simply have faith in your dreams... I believe you have to have faith in the dream giver.  It's been a long time since I have dreamed dreams like the one I just journaled about.  I know dreams don't come true without some kind of adversity but I also know that what doesn't kill us makes us stronger and more importantly that I have the "dream giver" in my corner.  




So here's to #uglyearly updates!!!!!! 

Constant....

Over the last few days I have had some great talks with some "old friends."  People whom I have come to love, respect and admire.  A few of them were college friends of mine, some I met while I was away at school, and some I have had the honor of knowing for a really long time.  In each conversations there were some tears, some moments that made me smile, but ALWAYS constant words of encouragement.  Now I'm a little bit like a puppy dog for anyone who has known me for more then like 5 seconds you would know that's true.  I'm pretty much loyal to the core (unless you've hurt me real bad and then I tend to nip at you, but I'm pretty forgiving and usually get over it).  I like to just "hang out," you're going for a walk, ok cool I'll keep you company, you're having a random car dance party (only a few people have been blessed to be a part of that) I want to join in, you need someone to just keep you company I'm there, you need a listening ear you got it.  You say nice and encouraging things to me and I get pretty excited, makes me feel like you care and you appreciate me.  You ignore me and I kind of want to pee on your shoe, unless of course I was sleeping then I would prefer that you ignore me (sometimes I need a little space).  See I'm kind of like a puppy!  Puppies are pretty constant, you know you can depend on them to be your best friend when you need it.  I got a dog almost two years ago, she's great, lazy, loyal and listens real well.  Sometimes I talk out my problems with her, thing is though, she doesn't give really great advice.  The great thing about the people I have been so beyond blessed to speak with this week is, they all had great things to say, encouraging, uplifting, loving (they get that I am kind of like a puppy).  One friend encouraged me to read, to her I say, thank you for valuing my growth.  One friend encouraged me to take some time to just be me, to that friend I say thank you for seeing me and knowing that sometimes I just need a few minutes.  One friend encouraged me to embrace things that I love to do, to that friend I wanted to say thank you for reminding me that it's ok to not do everything but to focus on what I love.  But all of them encouraged me to do two things, PRAY and TRUST.  You never know what twists and turns are going to pop out on this journey of life but one thing I know and understand is that not only is it nice to have friends and family who are constant in their love and support but it is so much easier to walk this journey when you walk it knowing that the one you talk to the most and trust in more then anything has your back and is more constant then the characteristics of a puppy and He fights for you like a lion would his cub (a little Muffasa/ Simba action right there).  Constant.... I am remaining confident in the creator who is so constant.

Never Question Honor...

There has been a lot in my life that has resulted in me really wanting to ask the "What Ifs" or "Why me" questions.  This morning as I read my pastor's blog, www.toddbishop.tv I was reminded of the importance of certain questions.  I've always enjoyed being around kiddos, they make me laugh, their so creative, and they have a desire to learn (among a few of my favorite things about them).  I can deal without the boogies and the sticky jelly hands oh and for sure without the farting on command (Special Thanks to a certain almost 8yr old PK... Malachi- thanks for teaching me the power of the stench).  But the one thing I have always appreciated about kids is the way they constantly ask questions form the WHYs all the time just because to the most knowledge and truth seeking questions I have heard like wanting to know more about the word redemption.  I've been given the AMAZING honor to pastor the children at the Point Church for the last 2 years and working with them for about 3 years and I must say I think I have learned more from them over the last few years then I have taught them.  I've learned that faith really is simple.  I have learned that loving your neighbor makes your life greater.  I have learned that there is no greater joy then serving God with your whole heart and I have learned that God loves me no matter what.  Now some of that I already knew... but the way kids approach things puts stuff in to a whole new perspective.  I cannot begin to unfold the honor it has been to learn, lead and love the kiddos I have been granted the opportunity to serve.  But that opportunity would not have come if a crazy formerly hickish youth pastor had not stepped into my world a little over 12 years ago.  My pastor Todd Bishop is one of the most amazing, genuine, compassionate men I have ever had the opportunity to learn, grow, and serve with.  When others didn't even seem to see me this man and his AMAZING wife Mary saw the potential God had in me.  He refuse to let me just be an "average joe" kind of kid, he knew there was more to my future then that.  I didn't see it and sometime truthfully now I have trouble seeing it, but I know that my pastor and his wife believe in me.  I know that this guy who saw something in me 12 year ago still sees something in me now... he sees potential.  We have this catch phrase at our church.... UNLEASHING YOUR FULL REDEMPTIVE POTENTIAL #FRP.  It means that we believe God is taking you FROM something, through something and ultimately to something.  The from and the through are not always exciting but the to is what you need to have hope in.  It's a lot easier to have hope in something when you have amazing people in your corner.  And while I may really want to ask the questions of the who, what, where, when why and how.... I know that it is more important to learn from the moments and experiences.  Asking questions is great but being prepared to learn is essential.  Today I just wanted to publicly put it out there that I am HONORED to know Todd and Mary Bishop for as long as I have and I am BLESSED to be allowed to serve with them and to be able to call them not just friends and my pastor but FAMILY.  So much love and respect for the Bishops, I probably would not have made it this far in the journey without them investing in me.  Love you both and HONORED to have you in my life.

conjoined....

So my cousin posted a status on Facebook tonight... "just found out my maternal grandmother was a conjoined twin" (or something along those lines).  I commented on the post since she happens to have been my grandmother as well.  See our grandmother was born in 1931, was a conjoined twin and her parents had to choose.  My great grandmother was just glad that they were here and that one would be a healthy baby so my great grandfather had to choose.  My grandmother Georgia-Bell and her brother were connected at the head (from what I've been told) so their parents had to pick one of them, they shared a brain so there was no way they could both survive.  Now I'm not the greatest of history buffs but I am pretty sure that in 1931 having a son was more profitable for a family, being that men are typically stronger and at that point were with out a doubt at that point considered the bread winners in families, so choosing the girl seems a little abnormal, but then again that sounds like my family and without a doubt my life.

I won't sit here and pretend that I was the tightest with my grandmother she had a few strokes and had a rough time with communication for most of my life and we lived like 8 hours away from her.  But I do know that her dad made a choice that altered the course of my family's history.  Because my grandfather decided to pick his little girl I have the most amazing dad in the world and I have life.  His choice cause my family to be able to exist.  I could not imagine having to make the choice that he made but my world wouldn't even exist it he had no made that choice.

Over the last few weeks I have been thinking... "am I really meant to do all this???" "is there purpose to my life???"... I mean I know that I am called.. chosen and set apart but some times I need a friendly reminder... and well.. today I was blown away by the thought that a choice... NOT an easy one... was made 81 years ago that forever altered history.  Great grandpa... I know you'll never read this but thank you for making the hardest choice ever... I can't help but think and believe that you had strong faith in God to know that it would all work out.